Wednesday, December 31, 2008
An ode to 2008
For my faithful two comment readers, and to a certain someone who mentioned that she missed it. Get that? While she was busy running her queendom, wearing a plastic tiara and coveting that ring - she missed me.
Quote to end the year:
Funny how that the common knowledge is to live each day as it was your last. Would this not mean that we would all be so busy trying to do everything, heal hurts, ask for forgiveness, get each hug and kiss in from our loved ones, making lists of "bucket stuff", and being full of regret that we would miss out?
I ask instead that we live each day as it was our FIRST. With open eyes. With calm hearts. With an open mind. To help. To hold. To love. You have nothing to compare it too, as it is your first day! Do it all - with utter abandonment. You will instead enjoy each moment, love each word spoken, and have no regrets.
Then when we go to sleep, we say our "I love yous" and rest our head and sleep in peaceful slumber.
Awaken - and repeat.
Happy New Year.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
A blog entry that is exactly me...
Other than the church thing. And that it is backwards. I am in such a great mental place now, and looking back I am consumed with regret about how much energy I spent wishing my life was simpler then....with daycare woes, death, business, anger, parenting mistakes, divorce finalization, purchasing a house, finances, kids, relationship, and and and and. I am amazed I survived without any body being disposed of in my trunk.
So read this beautiful masterpiece, and honestly ask yourself, which side of the spectrum is your life on right now?
Last night, as I waited for my brain to turn off and the drowsiness to descend, I read through my journal from last year.
I was sad and slightly startled to see how much depth my writing had 12 months ago. These days, my writing tends toward the surface and the amusing. Nothing wrong with that, inherently. It’s a large part of who I am. I’m always thrilled when good friends tell me my blog is exactly like the real-life me. That’s a compliment.
Yet, I’m not a shallow person. At least, I didn’t use to be.
“I’m forlorn,” I thought to myself as I snuggled under the comforter, drowsiness padding my brain. “Yes, that’s it exactly. I’m forlorn.”
Waking up this morning to sunshine and cereal with blueberries and “Diego’s Moonlight Rescue,” I didn’t feel quite so melancholy. (My sanguine personality wastes little time throwing pity parties. They aren’t fun.)
But the basic premise remains: This year, I’m living. But I’m not delighting. At least, not enough.
I know much of this can be chalked up to the changes of the last year. New house, new city, new baby, new school, new church, new friends, new schedule. New, new, new. Who has time to reflect and ponder and wonder when the dishwasher needs to be unloaded and the dinner needs to be made and the kids need lunch and the baby needs to be held? Oh, and did I mention my husband has been gone at least a week each month on business trips?
Thus, I have been consumed by the urgent, day-to-day details of life. It takes a lot of energy to keep this many plates spinning.
And while I truly love the adventure of the new and the delight of new discoveries – and yes, a part of me even delights in the challenge of keeping the plates spinning – I also miss the old me.
The old me was better at balancing the surface, urgent life with the deep, important life. I was better at playing with my children, instead of excusing myself under the guise of getting another task accomplished. I was better at noticing the simple gifts in my path each day, instead of rushing about, like a chicken desperate to get its fill of grain before the wind blows it away.
I had more margin in my soul. More space. More room to breathe.
How do I get it back?
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Finally a moment to blog.....
The beginning of the new and very beautiful cupboards. I love them. They are dark and mysterious - with tons of room and a PANTRY! Now if the countertops would come......
The beautiful backyard. This is where we spend a lot of our time. The girls love it, level ground, no big rock, actual grass, a deck for Roger and I to kick back and relax with a cold bevvy.....
In the quiet morning, I am going to blog. I have been so busy, but have wanted to update my three faithful readers with the update on the house. We had the most stress - free move ever. Roger and I sat on the van seat on the front lawn of the co-op house and directed our great movers on what to do. Then we drove to the new house, and sat on a lawn chair in the living room and did the same thing - directed traffic. When everything was said and done (which was three hours from the onset of the move) all our boxes were in the correct rooms and we could survey the options of what to do next.
I could not unpack the kitchen, as it was being ripped out and the new one would be under way on Monday.
I could not unpack the girls room as we had to assemble the bunkbeds and wait for the mattresses to arrive on Thursday (it is Tuesday).
I could not unpack the living room as we had no furniture there until Thursday either.
I could not unpack the bedroom as....well...see above.
So what did we do? Unpacked the patio set, put two chairs in the "living area" and set up the tv.
The next weekend was busy tearing out the kitchen, and piling it in the backyard ready for disposal. We sanded down the walls and waited for the painters to arrive on Sunday. They did not show. So Roger and I, neither of us paint, painted the kitchen. The color was supposed to be olive green with a bit of chartreuse - but instead it was yellow. Like a pukky, super bright, ugly yellow. We hated it.
We hired painters.
They came.
Now the cabinets are in, the counter tops are in, the appliances are in, and we are beginning to be settled. We love our house. SO many wonderful things have already happened here. Both girls are very well adjusted, with no mention of the old house or when they get to go home. We are all sleeping well. Plants are flowering here that never flowered in the old place. Roger and I hold hands more. The girls play more. We laugh more.
It is a good thing. I am thankful.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Funny things to be seen at the petting zoo
Or my daycare boy brushing a goat's belly? Quinners taking notes for next time....
Or standing around wondering what there is to eat?
Totally bunked this shot, but that is one PREGNANT goat - with twins. She just layed against the fence, unable to get comfortable....poor thing. Babies were born two days later....
And this is the best shot of the two girls. After many unsuccessful ones, I just picked this one. It about sums it up - HP looking vaguely bored with having her photo taken, and Quinners eating her hat. Yep, that's my girls!
Beacon Hill on Friday, May 16th. The weather on the Thursday was blustery and slightly cold. The weather on the Friday was 27 degrees. It was sudden, hot, and lovely! We went to Beacon Hill with Quinners preschool, and had a great time. We looked around the zoo, played at the amazing park, and when we started to wilt, we toddled off to the Beacon Hill drive in for a yummy ice cream cone. It was an amazing way to begin the Victoria Day long weekend.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
My sister's visit
Me and Steph - photo taken by Hayley!
My sister flew here for five days to take in the National Celiac Convention with me. We had such a good time! Actually, I am a big believer in "you never get more than you can handle" - and she arrived on Wednesday and was able to be here and be a HUGE help to both Roger and I during the time of Chantal's funeral and all the arrangements that needed to be made. I love her! So do the girls, who had a blast with their "Aunty Stuffy".
The Conference was a huge success. Every year a new city has the privileged of hosting it, and Victoria seems to have a huge drawing card with it being the provincial capital and home of the gardens. It was held adjacent to the Empress, with a gluten free tea provided to all those who had nothing better to spend $60 on than tea and sandwiches with the crusts cut off as well.
We had over 400 people registered (the last conference was capped at 280) and when we opened it to the public on Saturday afternoon - we had a staggering 850 people come through the door! We had to have security and everything! It was a huge awareness weekend for us in the Celiac Community - we had home tests that are approved for use here in Canada for sale and over 100 untested individuals took them home! Poor doctors.....
Steph and I had a great time, it was a huge bonding weekend for us, with us both sharing the common gene of Celiac and sisterhood. I miss you Steph!
Saturday, May 17, 2008
The "funnest" dad in the world
Roger collect all things GI Joe. Star Wars. Transformers. Kid toys. Figures. Games. And of course Train Tracks.
Here are the three of them having a blast making the 1989 Authentic-still-in-original-box-with-antique-dust-and-copper-wires train set work.
Happy times that help us move on.
**For those of you wondering, the service for Chantal was lovely. Chapel full of friends and family and flowers remembering the good times. Thank you to all who thought of our family, and especially Roger, during this horrible time. Our family is working on the mantra of "carpe diem" - we are seizing all opportunities to just be together. I am looking forward to the end of the school year, the move and the summer. Positive things that are going to happen in our lives.
I am back!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Maybe just for now....
Life has taken on a rough turn, as we lost Roger's sister to suicide early this week. My focus needs to be with him at this time. My girls, my partner, my family all need my full attention. Just four short months ago we lost his dad, and now this tragedy has happened.
Please keep us in your thoughts, prayers and well wishes.
My concentration will be helping his heart to heal, holding his hand, and coping with the fact his family has been cut in half in less than 125 days.
Until that happens, adieu.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Spring Break Gymnastic Camp
Waiting patiently for her turn to swing on the rope and land in the foam pit.
Crawling OUT of the foam pit.
Swinging on the overhead bars.
We put HP in the gymnastic camp over the Spring Break. It was a godsend. It was from 9-4 for Monday-Thursday and she LOVED it. I loved it because she was off having fun with other kids and I did not have to be an entertaining idiot for four days. I also loved it because it tired her out that she was in bed sawing logs by 7:30 at night.
Spring Break bliss.
The day Quinners turned three
The crown she made and wore at preschool. We baked cupcakes for her to take, and share. This was her first birthday that we had to make something for school!
By dumping the water I used to rinse off the knife to cut the ice cream cake up. Yep. All down his pants.
Must be love.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
It's my birthday and I can brag if I want to.
Turns out I had nothing to fear. I passed the body measurement test with flying colours and even managed to do the 5 required pushups for my instructor. It is cold here at night, and bootcamp is outside, in the rain or shine.....so I am beginning to toughen up. I am (sick as it sounds) enjoying it - so far.
The girls and I went to the park on Wednesday with the other daycare kiddies. We had a ton of fun and I practiced with the two most beautiful subjects (in my humble opinion - but I am the author of this blog, so mine is the only opinion that counts!) and tried out some settings on my camera. Not too bad if you ask me. HP is getting more and more beautiful as time goes on.
And of course, my jokester, Quinners. She always has a "cheese" face whenever the camera comes out. I love her in black and white though.
Today is my birthday, and so far so good. I was spoiled rotten by Roger, as he bought me a gift card for a store that I cannot afford to walk into. Cannot wait to spend his money there! (it is lululemon by the way.....) It is the most overpriced, status symbol active/yoga wear that you can imagine, but it somehow makes everyone's ass look good. That is what I am aiming for baby. Hey, when you are 37 you are feeling lucky it is still somewhat where it was 10 years ago!
Dinner out tomorrow at the Tapa Bar with Roger and friends. Even a babysitter! Getting my hair re-hilighted tomorrow, and chillen' out tonight.
Happy birthday to me.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Ok, Ok, we bought a friggen' HOUSE already!
The backyard (but I already dream of a zen garden, with water falls, buddha greeting me, and lots of bamboo, potted plants and gettin' rid of the grass.
Note to self - take camera off cool mode.
This is the fireplace (see Buddha - I wanna make him mine!)
Totally blurry, but I was attempting to be incognito and take photos while the building inspector was doing his thing. This is the dining room looking into the kitchen.
It all it's ugly glory - it is ours.
The floors are new, the upstairs is redone, the kitchen makes me feel as though Austin Powers is going to walk in and say "groovy baby". It is being gutted asap. Rona has already been phoned and scheduled for a demo/redo/upgrade.
Breaking into the Victoria market is tough. This gem was on the market for 340K and we managed to be blessed enough to get it for 300K. Yep. 300K. Where I grew up, one could have bought a subdivision for that amount in the 1970's. So I learn to forget about the numbers, and look to the fact that we will own, have a mortgage and finally have broken into the market.
Just for the record, single family detached homes are ranging in price (for 3 bed/3 bath) from $450,000 - millions and millions.
The total upside is that we will be paying $43 more a month on a mortgage than what we are paying for here in the projects (oops, I mean the CO-OP).
June 23 cannot come fast enough.
Build a Bear Party for HP (or how to spend money at an enormously fast rate)
Hayley showing off her new digital watch that Roger and I bought her. Now when asked the time, she will day....46 minutes after 9. (never quarter to 10)
Roger, Quinn and Hayley - rarely in a photo together.
The signature bear that we all wrote on, and "Cuddles" the rabbit - built by HP.
Her button that she proudly wore all day long.
Hayley showing off her bear. She was stoked that we all signed it and that she could bring it home.
Some little buddies that were at the party.
My beautiful 8 year old girl.
The stuffing process of "Princess" the Hippo that Quinners chose.
Hayley turned eight on March 2nd and we had her party at Build A Bear. It was actually very good - stress free, and fun. Once we turned over the budget to the leader - she took care of the finances and so there was no tears to spend more, and more, and more. It is a place that will easily rob you of cash - spend wisely or your bear will be better dressed than you.
After we took her 5 friends to Boston Pizza for lunch and had cake and opened presents. Such fun for all!
After the party Hayley promptly went home, got a fever, sore throat and the flu and has been out of commission and taking up residence on the couch ever since.
Happy birthday - you partied yourself sick. I thought that it would be years until I uttered those words!