Saturday, September 01, 2007

Flashback without added drug use

Last night we were transported back in time. Who knew that Betty (the van) was also doing side-duty as a time machine? Yes, we teleported right into the land of big, bad hair; too-tight-stirrup-pants-on-too-fat-arses; misbehaved children and roll-back prices. They have got to place that huge smily face everywhere or there will be mass riots and fights over the latest "George" brand clothing. (I often wondered if that is what Boy George is doing now that he is unemployed in the music world? one has to wonder.....)

For those of you that do not know, I detest Walmart and all that it is. Not that I have anything against big box stores, I shop at Cosco. Not that I have any problem with having to match your clothing to a big blue vest everyday...to each their own. Not that I even have issues with their products and prices. It is simply this - I spent too much there.

I am cheap. Very cheap. I do not buy retail, I am known by name and shoe size at most neighbourhood thrift stores. I do not like anyone taking my money. God knows, I don't have much of it - so leave it in my overdrawn bank account where it belongs. Each and every time that I enter into the huge doors of Walmart stupid spray is vaporized on me leaving me a blubbering idiot. I wander aimlessly throughout the isles, throwing products in willy-nilly whether we need them or not. Price mark down on gerrycurl...I am in. Hmmm, diaper rash cream for the almost-potty-trained girly....chuck 'er in. Looky here, they got some flip-flops for $3! (see previous post...not needed any more of those suckers!)

We go in because for three days now we have been reaping in the missed-the-potty puddles on the floor. Quinners so wants to be a big girl so she is forgoing diapers. And the potty. And choosing to pee wherever, whenever and doing whatever. I am finding panties everywhere, and none of them mine. So with our other choice being a safety pin and a tee towel (safety pin already being used) we go get diapers.

God the hair we saw. Big, nasty, bangs straight up hair. Right out of my 1989 grad photos. Whoa. And who in their right mind takes their kids out in a diaper only? There was some strange people there, I kid you not.

So in the end, I get to the cashier, armed with diapers, new sippy cups and ketchup (great combo) and we high-tail it out of there. Getting in the van Roger and I have a bit of a chuckle on the sights and sounds of Langford Walmart, all the while realizing that is how we just spent our Friday night.

Pathetic.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

I got my first real laugh of the day here, thanks for the chuckle. I hate Wal-Mart, too! I can not stand to shop there. I have been weaning myself from shopping there. I hope to soon be Wal-Mart free.

Anonymous said...

lol! If you think there are strange people in Langford try checking out the Walmarts south of the border! SCAAARRY! I did most of my Christmas shopping down in Bellingham and spent the whole time gawking at the fried/teased hair in banana clips and greased combovers! lol
Langford has nothing on them! and I spent a lot of time in Langford on business a few years back opening a store and was constantly running back and forth to that Walmart.