One day and one coffee at a time

my favorite post revisited for you to enjoy again....

2009-03-16T21:40:00.000-07:00

Better Support

originally published in summer 2006

I have come to the conclusion that I need some better support.

Not in parenting, not in my friendship circle, not in my running regime......

in my boobs.

I vowed that I would never be that mom. You know the one. The one that comes to playgroup/library/playground/Thrifty Foods with her brood in designer garb, all decked out, looking like they are making a quick stop on the way to a movie premier or something equally glamorous. Mom, however, is looking a little less than made up. A bit harried, with a comb not touching the hair that is not visible in the bathroom mirror, clothes a bit wrinkled, flip-flops being the shoe of choice......and worse of all fashion faux-pas.....her bra held up with a safety pin.

I am this close to being that mom. Just a safety pin away.

How is it that mom rationalle prevents us from spending money on ourselves? On essentials? I have no issues spending money on really little cute jeans for my 2-year old. Nor do I have any issues with spending $40 on a new backpack to grace the shoulders of my 7 year old on her return to school. I do, however, balk at the highway robbery of prices that they can get away with charging for a bra. I have two. One is the "turtlenecks" of bras. You know the kind. The Huge, mother-of-all bras, no chance of escape here, really big and bulky. It is the one that I wear on a regular basis. (not by choice, keep reading). The other is a demi-cup. The one that presumes to be sexy, with coverage of only half your boob. Mine was not bought as a demi-cup. I grew. It evolved into a new entity. One on which does not cover, nor does it support, it just...well...I am not exactly sure what it's purpose is. I only wear this one when I am waiting for the turtleneck one to dry.

This is not rocket science girlfriend. (maybe it is, have you seen the pointy-arrow boobies of the 1950's? complete with darts and take off devices...maybe it is rocket science) It is a piece of material that will defy the laws of gravity and put my "girls" to their pre-baby height of yesteryear. Not too big of a task. I mean, if you can put a man on the moon, one would like to believe that you can return the boobs to their place of honor.

Maybe too much to ask.

So, I am prepared this time. No kids to bring to the bra-shop for me. It is all too fresh in my mind what happened last time I brought my kids. The older one thought that it was an all-you-can-eat buffet from my purse of treats, and my younger one saw the boobs unleashed and thought that it was an all-you-can-eat-buffet from me. Not a good time in the change room for me. I will go get measured, and convince myself that spending money on me is a good thing.

Because do you know what I don't want for Christmas this year? National Geographic boobies of the saggy-tribe of who knows where in Africa. Nope, crossed that one off my wish list.

I'll take some new panties to go with my new bras. Lord knows, I won't be able to afford both.

Hving it all together means knowing where your purse is.....

2009-03-16T21:12:00.000-07:00

Do you judge how your mood is by what possessions you have? Do you look to others and compare? Shamefully, I have done this.

Then my birthday came around. Now, sadly, when you are an adult you do not have parties, with streamers, and balloons, and pin-the-tail on the donkey games (at least not with anyone other than your husband later on that evening.....) and definitely NOT goody bags.

My birthday was a big "punch in the face" to me on how great my girlfriends here are.

They facebooked me.

They brought me flowers to school.

They picked their kiddies up early from daycare so that my "weekend" could begin.

In a word, they cared.

Now, I have the "chosen" few girlfriends. The ones here that I count as my friends would be there for me whenever, where ever, whatever the reason. They tell me when I look fabulous, and when I need my highlights touched up. They poke fun at me when I drive up in the tan-van overflowing with daycare kiddies. They encourage me. They aid in my growth and learning. They put me in my place, and laugh at my jokes. They truly are all my favorites.

I love their individuality. They each possess separate and unique attributes that make them who I need at the time. One is the most amazing and gifted card maker and crafty gal, which in an instant I knew I missed out in not knowing her in 1989 when I had the first chance. One has amazing knowledge of all things musical and theater and art. One has the uncanny ability to make me laugh. One always has the most delicious tea and sunlight pouring in her kitchen in which we spend many an hour talking while our kids play together. One in which I trust her judgment and ability to assess a situation and then tell me that it is not always about me. One has three kids, the youngest is only 6 months and sweats like a mad woman with me at cardio kick box two times a week.

The only thing that each of my friends have in common is that they each love me.

I have it all.

Twilight......

2009-03-10T13:58:00.000-07:00

During my hiatus, I read Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight. Apparently it is a requirement of being a thirty-something housewife (it’s on the list right between “make ironic references to eighties pop” and “own yoga pants”). No doubt you are quite tired of hearing about the book by now, but hey! that’s precisely why I have a blog! Otherwise I would call my sister even more than I already do, and she might start screening me.

This makes me laugh. Outloud.

I am not sure which part though, the part in which I am a `thirty something housewife`or the fact that the writer (Toddled Dredge) has a sister that she phones often as well......

I am reading Twilight. And loving it.

It is kind of like the `VC Andrews of my adulthood......`` but mostly it is fluff reading as my friend so nicely puts it. You can read it, put it down ( if you can.....) and pick it up and know exactly where you are. No heavy plot. No 10,000 characters that have their own sub plot......just good reading.

I can hardly wait until I am done. I need to know what happens. I am in book four, in a great part, and sadly, cannot devote enough time to it as of late.....so me and my book retire early to bed to read and read and read.

And when I am done, Roger bought me The Watchmen to read.....

Just some photos for you.....

2009-03-03T19:08:00.000-08:00

Quinners (in pink) at Dance class

Ribbons are the favorite time of the class....

Finally showing her face...

Hayley's mad dash off the spring board into the foam pit.

One of my fave photos of her as of late. A natural smile, having fun.

Not much is going on in the Beaulieu clan. Winter seems to be taking its own damn time leaving, and even though our crocuses are up and in royal purple glory, we are still wearing a winter coat most days. I know that I should not even mention that the flowers are up here, as my friends in the great white north of BC are buried under feet upon feet of snow.....but there in lies the reason why they are THERE and I am HERE.

March is the month of birthdays here, with HP's on the 2nd. We had a party age nine style, with seeing the Jonas Brothers 3D concert at the movie theater, and having a webkinz kind of goody bag. The guests all loved it, and were SILENT throughout the movie. I think that it is because one of the brothers took off their shirts.....eye candy for nine year olds.

Then it is mine - then Roger's and then on the 30th it is Quinn's. She wants a build a bear party, so that should knock another dent out of the wallet. Not that our family does anything half way - no we NEED to have all our birthdays in the same month!

I am busy reading the Twilight series, and shamefully, loving it. It is a great read.

Not much else is going on. Melanie, does this suffice?

Oh, ya, I am off to cardio kickbox 2 times a week for the month of march....and then will be in seriously kicking some butt.....sadly....my own.

Saving the best

2009-02-11T10:05:00.000-08:00

HP, Quinners, and my niece- Cadie- and myself in December

Who do you save your best for? Is it for company? The daycare moms that come to pick up at the end of the day?

Is it for your OWN children?

I am questioning this a bit as of late. I know that my children mean the world to me. I know that I am blessed beyond measure of even having the possibility of being their mom. I know that they are precious, strong and resilient.

But do I save the best of ME for them? Or do they get stuck with leftovers?

For me, it is easier to have the mean voice with my own children than with the daycare kiddies. I know that I have the opportunity to be better - to make better choices, to speak softer, to love louder and hug harder. Do I take the opportunities given to me though?

We have "huggies and kissies" every night when HP and Quinners and myself talk about our day. We talk about the good and the bad. Our favorites. Usually their faves are when someone shared a toy at preschool or if HP gets a turn on the whirley-twirley at school. My faves are when the laundry makes it into the bin or someone brought their dish into the kitchen.

If I look at my life, in faves, my faves should ALWAYS be being their mom. Not that they went to bed so I can have some quiet time. Not that they ate their lunch so I don't have to waste food and throw it away. Not that they came when they were called - but instead played until they did not want to anymore and then came in to see me.

I need to love well. I am in love with my kids - but am working on saving the best love for them.

After all - they save their best love for me. Every day.

On love and reruns on tv

2009-02-03T13:31:00.000-08:00

Do you think marriage changes a person, or do you think that a person changes marriage?

That is a tough one. All I know is that since meeting and marrying Roger (the latter is only 2 months old, so I speak from all of my 5 week experience) - my "person" has changed.

Marriage is a promise that you make to each other every day. With Roger, this is what I promise:

1) I promise to listen to you talk about GI Joes - but don't ask me a question in a quiz - I am not listening THAT close.

2) I promise to agree that EVERY colour/shade/spectrum of the rainbow has green shades in it. Even when it does not. But you see it that way, and refuse to realize that white is not green. Nor is black. Green is green.

3) I promise to pick up your towel - if you pick up mine. Usually it is mine on the floor as you are too damn neat for your own good.

4) I promise to not tell anyone about the less than flattering photos of yourself if you promise not to share with the facebook world any of me in less than perfect posture.

5) I promise to be the driver, if you let me pick my music once in a while.

6) I promise to let you be the head of the family - as long as you know that I am the neck. As everyone knows - the neck supports the head and allows it to turn when it wants!

7) I promise to scan the isles of Toys R Us when you want.

8) I promise to always love you, listen to you, and hold your hand.

Roger really is the best. He allows me to be me. He lets me win arguments. He bought us a house and allowed me free reign of decorating it. He knows that I love hanging out with the girls, going to the gym, seeing my friends and having baths. He lets me do it all without complaining, or interrupting. I really do love him. He is one of the few individuals in my "now" friend life that has seen photo evidence of me at over 185 pounds. He thinks I still looked great. (We got him some glasses after that!).

Marriage the second time around is different. You know what you are getting into. I know that I fell in mad love with a frog. Who is a prince. But, man, can he be a frog when he wants to. He also knows that I am a beeotch when the moon is at a certain height, and he stays clear. In fact, he takes the girls and the dog away from the house to protect them too. But, we do the dishes together every night. We watch bad tv. We talk, we read, we sing in the van - usually to kid songs, but I digress. We are comfortable with each other, but not ever complacent. I know when he needs to be alone, and I also know when he has been alone ENOUGH and come and get him to join us.

For those of you that saw the frog and the princess get married on December 6th know that there does not need to be an answer to the question. Love is really all the answer you need.

Want perspective? Get a bikini wax.....

2009-01-28T13:56:00.000-08:00

Perspective on life. Most days I think I have it together, and others, like last Thursday - make me want to curl up in a ball, type my resume and find work in a cubicle.

Running a day care is tough. Tough because little ones depend on you for everything. You are a role model, so heaven forbid one of them catch you picking your nose or having chips and chip dip for lunch. Chaos would ensue and then all of them would be booger-picking-double-dipping ankle biters.

I am striving for balance this year. Everything in life should be about moderation. Like a big T-bone steak pairs well with a glass of wine - then take the dog around the block kind of moderation. Balance is important. Finding just the right amount of afterschool activities for the kiddies to be involved in. Playing outside until you can still feel your toes. Dressing just enough polly pockets in rubber clothes to make it still fun. And taking full advantage of dropping everyone off at school and being in the van - ALONE.

This happened today. A blissful three hours before I had to be back. I had to choose my time wisely. I could go to Starbucks and have a tea and read the paper. I could go to the gym and zone out while listening to my ipod. I could browse those stores I love, fingering the clothes but not buying anything. I could read. I could have a bath.

I chose to go and get a bikini wax. Yep. While I am alone, and without children, I opt to have the small hairs ripped out in my nether region while listening to calming music. All the while not having any pants on.

It is so much better than where else we as females go and take off our pants and have others examine out nether regions. That is not at all relaxing.

Ohm.

Pocketful of Memories

2009-01-25T21:02:00.000-08:00

So today Roger had to go to the attic - so I thought while he was up there I would get a box of clothes for Quinn. This box had been packed up when Hayley was four, in hopes that another girl would grace our doorway and be able to wear all the cute clothes.

What I did not prepare myself for is that when the Rubbermaid container was opened, a stream of memories would pour out and engulf me for a great portion of the afternoon.

These clothes came from a time when it was only Hayley and me. First item out was a pair of chocolate brown corduroy overalls. Hayley was obsessed with pink and these overalls just did not cut it as far as she was concerned as there was not a pink thread in site. So I sewed Ric-rack ribbon throughout all the top bibbing, as well as added pink buttons. She wore them all the time.

Now they were in my hand, and in one of the pockets was the button that I took off to put on the pink ones. I still remember that day, we were fed, bills were paid, but no money. It was like this every month, but yet, I did not care. We did bead necklaces, we read books, she learned to ride her bike inside the apartment, we ate at the kiddie craft table, and we were happy. These overalls held all these positive memories, and now, hopefully Quinn will wear them and create new memories in them

Throughout the entire tote were items of clothing such as this one. A skirt that Hayley wore every day that it was clean. A t-shirt that said "I love mom", a purple vest, her preschool coat (this one had NO buttons!), her LUGZ boots that were a hand-me-down from the boy next door, her "DR. SUESS" stripy pants, and a pretty summer dress. Quinn went through the box in amazement that they were Hayley's , and also that now they are hers.

Quinn has worn a lot of Hayley's hand me downs. This is not the first box of treasures that came down and were used again. Yet, somehow, this one hit me right square in the heart.

I think of how lucky that I am. How blessed I am. I was not a single parent to Hayley for long. She still saw her dad, but at this time, neither he nor I were on speaking terms. I met Roger, and in time, we had Quinn. Both Hayley's dad and I learned to forgive each other.

I am blessed with two great girls. With food in my fridge. With the bills paid. With a small amount of money in my account between paydays. I am blessed with good health. With two girls that are the center of each other lives. I am blessed to hold hands with my best friend every day. I wear my past as a badge of honor. I am strong. Strong enough to leave a relationship that I knew was fruitless. Strong enough to trust someone with my heart again.

I am blessed with memories, both good and bad. They encompass my heart and soul, and without them I would be a shell of a person. They made me who I am.

Funny how it took a Rubbermaid tote for me to revisit these memories, and see how I have come to peace with them.

A trip to the attic created a trip down memory lane.

We should be thankful they say please.....

2009-01-20T07:17:00.000-08:00

Mouth like a sailor. Potty mouth. Gettin' it washed out with soap. Don't talk like that around your mother. Pardon my French (ha, this one is really true - Roger IS French). Watch your language....

The list goes on.

My two girls are pretty girls. Not that I am biased. They are put together. They wear clean clothes and have their hair combed. They brush their teeth and are polite.

At least that is the facade that I fell in.

On the playground, Quinn is running around and climbing the bridge to go down the slide. Her dainty foot slips and out of her mouth come...."oh nuts!". hmmmm

She is playing at home when one of her polly pockets is not co-operating with the intense story line and plot that is unfolding. Out of her precious, kissable lips comes....."oh, SNAP!"

She is coming to the dinner table, hands washed, ready to tackle any food that comes her way, sees that is is NOT pasta and out of her lips comes....."oh dang".

That is just my youngest. On to the older, wiser, more worldly one.

Fart.

Fooey.

Shoot.

Dang it.

Fiddle sticks.

Oh the language in my house.

At least they both say please and thank you. And apologize to me after the bad language.

What would my heart do if I had boys?

Dust squared

2009-01-16T19:32:00.000-08:00

So in a weak moment, Roger and I decided to re-do our very outdated bathrooms. They had yellow rose tiles, and pee stained floors, peeling doors on an outdated vanity, and the worse part - celestial painting throughout. The baby was so bright that it left an imprint on your corneal lens when you closed your eyes you could still see the exact color.

So we took the plunge. Really what that stems down to is this. You open your bank account and allow the reno gods to take all your money and don't even wait until you have lipstick on to *F* you out of it.

Sad, but true story.

No reno has gone as plans. In no house, in no time zone, in no family has a house reno: A) stuck to budget....B) was flawless.....C) produced sex at the end of the night. What it does produce is this....

1) dust beyond anything one can imagine
2) knowledge of all isles at Home Depot, Rona and Canadian Tire
3) conversations that revolve around sub floors, toilet paper rolls and other mind numbing things
4) four people sharing a bathroom located in the master bedroom, unflushed toilets and toothpaste gobs in the sink
5) excitement when we pick out a toilet that has a half-flush capibility
6) removal of your newlywed hubby for nights on end
7) huffing and puffing in bed, but not because of anything hot and heavy, but because you had to remove the drywall piece before you could go to sleep
8) constant draft because the attic is exposed
9) the decision that "while we are at it" then produces a closet overhaul
10) two toilets, two vanities, various bits and pieces, rubbish and crap in the backyard
11) realization that this is alright, because it is not in your house anymore
12) did I mention that there is dust everywhere?

Reno, be done.

Forever Sundays...

2009-01-11T20:39:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wish that the weekends would not end. Sometimes. This weekend was one of those times.

So often I go through my weekends as busy as I spend my weeks. Doing laundry, going to "activities", driving to the grocery store, cleaning, paying bills, not sleeping in....you know the drill...no change from Monday to Friday.

This weekend, however, seemed different. I still did all the above "stuff", but managed to fit in a movie on Sunday afternoon with a friend, some time on the computer, some time reading, and a trip to the gym. Even with all this, it did not seem busy. It seemed, somehow, right.

Roger and Mel were busy with the bathroom renovation (photos on facebook) and I just busied myself with the other household necessities. Maybe it was because I knew that Roger was busy doing his own thing, the pressure was off to entertain.....maybe.

Maybe it is because I felt no need to do anything. No housebound cabin fever. No restlessness shopping need. No "burning a hole in my pocket" to spend money. Just contentment. This weekend was bliss.

Now, how to carry it over into the week and I would have the full answer to the question.

Until then, let it be Sunday forever.

Mr Right, and Mrs. Always Right

2009-01-08T16:17:00.000-08:00

This is from two years ago - today

2009-01-08T15:38:00.000-08:00

I found this older post, and so I thought I would see how I did in a the two years - the bold is what I do - did- or am in the process of doing....

I have been tagged, so here it goes.

1. hug my girls every day - yep, do this
2. have Hayley read to me each night - now it is chapter books!
3. listen, really listen... (I still interrupt, but am working on this....)
4. tell my loved ones how I feel (every day - they are grossed out about it)
5. embrace my Celiac, and know that it is a part of me (yep, this is done!)
6. tell my mom how I feel about how she raised me, she did a grand job and needs to know (yep)
7. get to know Roger's family ...(sure glad I did this, as we said goodbye to his dad and his sister in four short months....you just NEVER know...)
8. plan our "day" the Vegas way (we planned our day different, got married in the house we bought, and would not change a thing!)
9. find the dress I love to wear that day (I loved my dress, it was ME to a TEE, and I wore it all night long!)
10. scrap book more (have completed three albums, numerous presents, and learned the art of card making.....thank you Jody!)
11. scrap less (as in fight, and sadly, I still fight, I just learned how to make up different.....both Roger and I agree...to disagree on things....)
12. talk to others how I wish to be talked to (I am working on this as well)
13. ask for help (I am asking, but more importantly, I am taking on less and enjoying life more!)
14. actually take an interest in GI Joes (god help me) (not so much....but I have learned to accept it)
15. get a tattoo (3rd one) (yep, on my wrist,it is a band and it says, "lover, daughter, mom, celiac, friend" - that about sums it up about who I am)
16. open my mind to new ideas (the Secret, Taoism, new authors, boot camp....)
17. hang out with Liz more (sadly, this friendship came to an end)
18. work less at Moxies (I quit!)
19. pay off a debt (we are debt free.....other than our 150K mortgage on our 325K townhouse)
20. walk to school with Hayley more (no walking since we moved to our new house)
21. learn to do the monkey bars with her (I can do this, and my chiropractor thanks me for the business)
22. learn to bake gluten-free (mastered this as well, with a new bread maker, Kitchen Aid and cookbooks....)
23. don't buy as many clothes (nope, still a vice...)
24. live simply (I would say yes, things don't make me happy, my family does.)
25. see more of my neighbourhood (we had so much fun exploring our new neighbourhood since the move!)
26. see more of my city (bus rides into the city only makes me see more homeless people....sad)
27. enrich myself in the arts (hmm, I have an artsy friend, we have new art in our house, does this count?)
28. deny negativity (positive thoughts bring about positive results and rewards....)
29. be an optimist (my wine glass is half full.....)
30. learn to smile again (my smile is perfect and I love how it affected my health and outlook.)
31. learn to love my hair (eek) (it has purple in it, and I get complimented on it all the time - thank you Holly!)
32. buy second hand when at all possible (yeppers)
33. denounce Walmart as an acceptable place to shop (we don't shop there anymore whenever possible)
34. support small businesses (we are trying to)
35. get to know my nieces (I love both Cadie and Emily, and I have a new niece or nephew coming in March!)
36. introduce Hayley and Quinn to their cousins (loads of times now - summers in Quesnel are the best)
37. hang out with Missy and Tanya more (they are still my fave, and both have added onto our family)
38. eat something new (we eat new things, but my fave "new thing" is goat cheese!)
39. date Roger (would he have to get to second base then?)
40. watch "Breakfast at Tiffanys" (did this too.....)
41. get a new digital camera (two in fact, and I love them both!)
42. buy a new piece of pottery from a Farmer's Market (mmmm, pottery, love it!)
43. buy Organic (we had a food box delivery of all organic once a month....)
44. eat more vegetarian food (funny, this is still a goal....)
45. hike Mt. Finlayson (nope, not yet, but did Mt. Tolmie twice in boot camp....)
46. camp ONCE in a tent with the girls (nope, not yet)
47. visit Tofino again (sadly, no)
48. be pampered at the spa (regularly now....)
49. have my taxes done by an accountant (have to with the home based business...)
50. potty train Quinn (omg, this is sooooo done)
51. ride my bike with Hayley (yep, and I pull Quinn in the chariot behind)
52. beat ROger at bowling on the Nintedo Wii (and hula hooping, and Wii fit....)
53. build a deck out back (our new house has a deck! and we spend a lot of time on it)
54. cherish friends (I can honestly say I do this....)
55. ask for help (learning....)
56. learn to not be embarrassed about my teeth (they are fixed, and I love them!)
57. paint our bedroom (in the new house, we have painted everything!)
58. go to Saxe Pointe and take photos (yes...so pretty!)
59. savour an ice cream cone (well, not the cone per Se.....)
60. worry less (should I be worried about this?)
61. laugh more (yep, every day!)
62. let loose (on the dance floor? in the bedroom? I was not sure where I was going with this one?)
63. be slow to anger (I think so.....but I have less to be angry about)
64. drink tea more, and coffee less (but but coffee is so good....)
65. friends : re-unite myself to them (I have new friends, and I love them, as well as my cherished old faithfuls....)
66. be a better friend (I think I would say yes, I am a better friend, as I am older, wiser, and am surrounded myself with great friends to role model after!)
67. skate with Hayley (still don't like this, but I have done it!)
68. read "All the Hippos go Berserk" every night to Quinn (her fave) (we read, and she knows this one off by heart!)
69. go to Fairview (still not yet....)
70. plan our summer holiday (holidays every summer!)
71. smile, with my new smile (check, done this!)
72. hold hands with Roger more (but his hands are clammy.....)
73. run the Garden City 10k (or at least run) (running lots, and loving it!)
74. roller blade (not so much....)
75. forgive Earl (yes, and my counseling bill is here to prove it)
76. file for divorce (done)
77. scrapbook my album about me (done)
78. update my will (done)
79. recycle more (boring, but done)
80. drive less (absolutely not, still the only one that drives in this family!)
81. listen to more music (does Hannah Montana count?)
82. update my Ipod (yes, and it is rockin' music!)
83. learn to live on a budget (sort of....)
84. BUT - buy some kick ass shoes (still looking for that pair...)
85. be happy with what I have (very)
86. increase Celiac awareness (yes, I believe I have done this)
87. volunteer more (yes)
88. go to the library more (yes, currently have overdue fines as well....damn budget)
89. get to know Hayley at school (love her teachers, they are great!)
90. garden again (this is also true!)
91. ask my mom to help me with my flowers (work in progress, but I am interested)
92. take more photos (gawd, yes)
93. in turn - scrapbook the memories (well, I am not caught up, but am doing this!)
94. play silly games (like hula hooping on the Wii?)
95. have a manicure and pedicure before the summer (yes!)
96. go to the movies (we try to go more, Roger still has me beat on this one)
97. pay a babysitter (we love Emma!)
98. love myself (I can say I do, I love me!)
99. love my partner (we said our "I do's" and I meant it!) he is my best friend!
100. love my kids (but not during the "witching hour" please?)
101. forgive, forget, move forward (what is true in biology is also true in life, if it is not living it is dead)

I have done well in two years!

Liquid Sunshine

2009-01-07T11:10:00.000-08:00

Typical Wednesday around here. A mad rush to get the girls to school, drinking my lukewarm coffee in the van while it is pouring rain out, drop one off at her school, and then off to preschool with Quinn.

So far nothing out of the ordinary.

At preschool, however, this is about to change. I met one of my daycare families there and the little guy gave me a totally warm smile - something that is tough to coax out of him on the best of days let alone when his dad is there and he is about to say goodbye. Sunshine on a rainy day.

Then, one of my daycare families (the mom is on mat leave with the most gorgeous little girl that you can imagine) has a son at the same preschool. He came over to me and told me his missed my house! Another ray of sunshine.

Then I go out to the van, baby in tow for a morning of chores, laundry, emptying the dishwasher and getting ready for the inundation of kiddies when school is finished, and there is a parcel on my seat of my van. It is a cookbook, "Deceptively Delicious" by Jessica Seinfeld. The note inside read, "for being who you are, you deserve a special something" - from a friend.

This was the rainbow of the day.

Note to self, continue to leave the van unlocked, for you never know when a special something may end up on your seat.

Although the rain continues to come down, with little thought to my hairstyle and soggy coat, my day is full of happy thoughts and my heart is full knowing that I have made a difference in other people's lives.

Annual Ponder Day

2009-01-04T20:34:00.000-08:00

I ponder.

Usually three or four days after the beginning of the New Year. There is not very much in the way of "specialness" going on. Open houses have been attended. Presents have been opened. Tree is put away. House is clean (does anyone else think that it looks much bigger now the tree is gone?). School is beginning again after the winter break. In our case here on the island, snow has even been shoveled. Christmas here has come and gone. New Year's Eve and New Year's day are finished, and whether you whooped it up, went to bed, or in our case, played the Wii - it is done.

It is the Sunday before everything settles into its normal state again.

It is too early to break my resolutions, and too late to bake for Christmas.

But it is not totally down time. My Sunday afternoon walk showed me that life is moving on. I know this to be true because faith tells me that under all the muddy snow, buds of life are appearing, as well as the stirrings in my roots as well. The days are already longer.

To ponder, to me, is not to brood or grieve or even to meditate. It is to wonder at a deep level.

I pondered my childhood. It was full of love, of riding bikes, of staying out late, playing in the neighbourhood, Kinsmen and Kinettes, and swimming pools. It was full of cereal before bed, coming home for lunch, and daycare kiddies that came to my house (funny how life turns out!). It was full of not wanting to share my toys with my brother, of wanting to sleep downstairs, of holidays with relatives. It was, on so many levels, the typical 1970's childhood. But it was mine.

I pondered my highschool years. But not for long. Looking back, they were riddled with tears, broken friendships, and bad hair. But I digress, as I am not going to grieve - I am here to ponder. I know that it could have been better. But then again, hindsight is always 20/20.

Now, in my late 30's, I almost unconsciously promise myself the same.

I can do better.

My resolution is to change this thought pattern around.

I AM BETTER.

I am stronger. I am wiser. I am older. I am in a different stage of my life. I am in love. I am loved. I am healthy. I am trusted. I am trustworthy. I am a friend. I have friends. I am intelligent enough to not repeat mistakes. I am worth it.

I AM BETTER.

Why 2008 rocked.

2008-12-31T17:15:00.000-08:00

Roger and me.
December 6th, 2008
Taken in our house we bought in June.

An ode to 2008

2008-12-31T17:07:00.000-08:00

I will blog out the year, with my resolution to once again blog in 2009.

For my faithful two comment readers, and to a certain someone who mentioned that she missed it. Get that? While she was busy running her queendom, wearing a plastic tiara and coveting that ring - she missed me.

Quote to end the year:

Funny how that the common knowledge is to live each day as it was your last. Would this not mean that we would all be so busy trying to do everything, heal hurts, ask for forgiveness, get each hug and kiss in from our loved ones, making lists of "bucket stuff", and being full of regret that we would miss out?

I ask instead that we live each day as it was our FIRST. With open eyes. With calm hearts. With an open mind. To help. To hold. To love. You have nothing to compare it too, as it is your first day! Do it all - with utter abandonment. You will instead enjoy each moment, love each word spoken, and have no regrets.

Then when we go to sleep, we say our "I love yous" and rest our head and sleep in peaceful slumber.

Awaken - and repeat.

Happy New Year.

A blog entry that is exactly me...

2008-08-21T13:48:00.000-07:00

I read "5 minutes for parenting" blog and came across this entry. It is my past life, present life and how last year was for me in a nutshell.

Other than the church thing. And that it is backwards. I am in such a great mental place now, and looking back I am consumed with regret about how much energy I spent wishing my life was simpler then....with daycare woes, death, business, anger, parenting mistakes, divorce finalization, purchasing a house, finances, kids, relationship, and and and and. I am amazed I survived without any body being disposed of in my trunk.

So read this beautiful masterpiece, and honestly ask yourself, which side of the spectrum is your life on right now?

Last night, as I waited for my brain to turn off and the drowsiness to descend, I read through my journal from last year.

I was sad and slightly startled to see how much depth my writing had 12 months ago. These days, my writing tends toward the surface and the amusing. Nothing wrong with that, inherently. It’s a large part of who I am. I’m always thrilled when good friends tell me my blog is exactly like the real-life me. That’s a compliment.

Yet, I’m not a shallow person. At least, I didn’t use to be.

“I’m forlorn,” I thought to myself as I snuggled under the comforter, drowsiness padding my brain. “Yes, that’s it exactly. I’m forlorn.”

Waking up this morning to sunshine and cereal with blueberries and “Diego’s Moonlight Rescue,” I didn’t feel quite so melancholy. (My sanguine personality wastes little time throwing pity parties. They aren’t fun.)

But the basic premise remains: This year, I’m living. But I’m not delighting. At least, not enough.

I know much of this can be chalked up to the changes of the last year. New house, new city, new baby, new school, new church, new friends, new schedule. New, new, new. Who has time to reflect and ponder and wonder when the dishwasher needs to be unloaded and the dinner needs to be made and the kids need lunch and the baby needs to be held? Oh, and did I mention my husband has been gone at least a week each month on business trips?

Thus, I have been consumed by the urgent, day-to-day details of life. It takes a lot of energy to keep this many plates spinning.

And while I truly love the adventure of the new and the delight of new discoveries – and yes, a part of me even delights in the challenge of keeping the plates spinning – I also miss the old me.

The old me was better at balancing the surface, urgent life with the deep, important life. I was better at playing with my children, instead of excusing myself under the guise of getting another task accomplished. I was better at noticing the simple gifts in my path each day, instead of rushing about, like a chicken desperate to get its fill of grain before the wind blows it away.

I had more margin in my soul. More space. More room to breathe.

How do I get it back?

Finally a moment to blog.....

2008-07-09T07:27:00.000-07:00

Old kitchen...blue on blue....and not a lot of cupboard space...you know me, I have a lot of "stuff" and have lived the last five years with only two drawers and four cupboards.

The beginning of the new and very beautiful cupboards. I love them. They are dark and mysterious - with tons of room and a PANTRY! Now if the countertops would come......

The beautiful backyard. This is where we spend a lot of our time. The girls love it, level ground, no big rock, actual grass, a deck for Roger and I to kick back and relax with a cold bevvy.....

In the quiet morning, I am going to blog. I have been so busy, but have wanted to update my three faithful readers with the update on the house. We had the most stress - free move ever. Roger and I sat on the van seat on the front lawn of the co-op house and directed our great movers on what to do. Then we drove to the new house, and sat on a lawn chair in the living room and did the same thing - directed traffic. When everything was said and done (which was three hours from the onset of the move) all our boxes were in the correct rooms and we could survey the options of what to do next.

I could not unpack the kitchen, as it was being ripped out and the new one would be under way on Monday.

I could not unpack the girls room as we had to assemble the bunkbeds and wait for the mattresses to arrive on Thursday (it is Tuesday).

I could not unpack the living room as we had no furniture there until Thursday either.

I could not unpack the bedroom as....well...see above.

So what did we do? Unpacked the patio set, put two chairs in the "living area" and set up the tv.

The next weekend was busy tearing out the kitchen, and piling it in the backyard ready for disposal. We sanded down the walls and waited for the painters to arrive on Sunday. They did not show. So Roger and I, neither of us paint, painted the kitchen. The color was supposed to be olive green with a bit of chartreuse - but instead it was yellow. Like a pukky, super bright, ugly yellow. We hated it.

We hired painters.

They came.

Now the cabinets are in, the counter tops are in, the appliances are in, and we are beginning to be settled. We love our house. SO many wonderful things have already happened here. Both girls are very well adjusted, with no mention of the old house or when they get to go home. We are all sleeping well. Plants are flowering here that never flowered in the old place. Roger and I hold hands more. The girls play more. We laugh more.

It is a good thing. I am thankful.

Funny things to be seen at the petting zoo

2008-05-23T13:13:00.000-07:00

How about freshly shorn alpacas?
Or my daycare boy brushing a goat's belly? Quinners taking notes for next time....
Or standing around wondering what there is to eat?
Totally bunked this shot, but that is one PREGNANT goat - with twins. She just layed against the fence, unable to get comfortable....poor thing. Babies were born two days later....
And this is the best shot of the two girls. After many unsuccessful ones, I just picked this one. It about sums it up - HP looking vaguely bored with having her photo taken, and Quinners eating her hat. Yep, that's my girls!

Beacon Hill on Friday, May 16th. The weather on the Thursday was blustery and slightly cold. The weather on the Friday was 27 degrees. It was sudden, hot, and lovely! We went to Beacon Hill with Quinners preschool, and had a great time. We looked around the zoo, played at the amazing park, and when we started to wilt, we toddled off to the Beacon Hill drive in for a yummy ice cream cone. It was an amazing way to begin the Victoria Day long weekend.

My sister's visit

2008-05-20T07:13:00.000-07:00

Hayley, Steph and Quinn outside the ferry terminal.
Me and Steph - photo taken by Hayley!

My sister flew here for five days to take in the National Celiac Convention with me. We had such a good time! Actually, I am a big believer in "you never get more than you can handle" - and she arrived on Wednesday and was able to be here and be a HUGE help to both Roger and I during the time of Chantal's funeral and all the arrangements that needed to be made. I love her! So do the girls, who had a blast with their "Aunty Stuffy".

The Conference was a huge success. Every year a new city has the privileged of hosting it, and Victoria seems to have a huge drawing card with it being the provincial capital and home of the gardens. It was held adjacent to the Empress, with a gluten free tea provided to all those who had nothing better to spend $60 on than tea and sandwiches with the crusts cut off as well.

We had over 400 people registered (the last conference was capped at 280) and when we opened it to the public on Saturday afternoon - we had a staggering 850 people come through the door! We had to have security and everything! It was a huge awareness weekend for us in the Celiac Community - we had home tests that are approved for use here in Canada for sale and over 100 untested individuals took them home! Poor doctors.....

Steph and I had a great time, it was a huge bonding weekend for us, with us both sharing the common gene of Celiac and sisterhood. I miss you Steph!

The "funnest" dad in the world

2008-05-17T07:44:00.000-07:00

Roger collect all things GI Joe. Star Wars. Transformers. Kid toys. Figures. Games. And of course Train Tracks.

Here are the three of them having a blast making the 1989 Authentic-still-in-original-box-with-antique-dust-and-copper-wires train set work.

Happy times that help us move on.

**For those of you wondering, the service for Chantal was lovely. Chapel full of friends and family and flowers remembering the good times. Thank you to all who thought of our family, and especially Roger, during this horrible time. Our family is working on the mantra of "carpe diem" - we are seizing all opportunities to just be together. I am looking forward to the end of the school year, the move and the summer. Positive things that are going to happen in our lives.

I am back!

Maybe just for now....

2008-04-29T13:38:00.000-07:00

I am not going to blog for a while.

Life has taken on a rough turn, as we lost Roger's sister to suicide early this week. My focus needs to be with him at this time. My girls, my partner, my family all need my full attention. Just four short months ago we lost his dad, and now this tragedy has happened.

Please keep us in your thoughts, prayers and well wishes.

My concentration will be helping his heart to heal, holding his hand, and coping with the fact his family has been cut in half in less than 125 days.

Until that happens, adieu.

Spring Break Gymnastic Camp

2008-04-14T10:42:00.001-07:00

Hayley in the foam pit.
Waiting patiently for her turn to swing on the rope and land in the foam pit.
Crawling OUT of the foam pit.
Swinging on the overhead bars.

We put HP in the gymnastic camp over the Spring Break. It was a godsend. It was from 9-4 for Monday-Thursday and she LOVED it. I loved it because she was off having fun with other kids and I did not have to be an entertaining idiot for four days. I also loved it because it tired her out that she was in bed sawing logs by 7:30 at night.

Spring Break bliss.

The day Quinners turned three

2008-04-14T10:35:00.001-07:00

Quinn and a birthday friend,

Her beautiful cake. Ice cream of course. Without the cookie center to make it gluten free for me

The crown she made and wore at preschool. We baked cupcakes for her to take, and share. This was her first birthday that we had to make something for school!

Friends eating, playing barbies, and hanging out inside....

While the birthday girl played outside by herself.

A great day was had by all. I was most proud of Roger though, to be perfectly honest. He braved it all, got right in there and helped three year olds paint a terra-cotta pot for a flower to go in. Fired up the barbeque when it was time to eat cheese burgers, and blew up balloons. How do I thank him?

By dumping the water I used to rinse off the knife to cut the ice cream cake up. Yep. All down his pants.

Must be love.

Easter with Quinners

2008-03-26T17:17:00.000-07:00

Basket o' eggs.

No basket though, Ladybug bag will do

Look at the gleam in her eye - she knew exactly what to do!

Looking, looking......

Ah-hah! Here it is!!!

Proud new owner of a Barbie Island Princess DVD.

All this excitement, and it is not even breakfast yet.

Spring is in the air - so is a chill

2008-03-19T14:19:00.001-07:00

Flowers from Quinners.

Better than anything from a flower store.

It's my birthday and I can brag if I want to.

2008-03-14T13:26:00.000-07:00

This is me all bundled up to go to Boot Camp. Yes, I joined bootcamp to whip my bootie into shape before the summer. I was a bit hesitant to go on the first day as you had to step on the scale, have all your measurements taken, and also have your hydration measured. Plus, it is like the first day of school, you don't know anyone, you may not be dressed appropriately, you might get left behind, and not make any friends for 6 weeks.

Turns out I had nothing to fear. I passed the body measurement test with flying colours and even managed to do the 5 required pushups for my instructor. It is cold here at night, and bootcamp is outside, in the rain or shine.....so I am beginning to toughen up. I am (sick as it sounds) enjoying it - so far.
The girls and I went to the park on Wednesday with the other daycare kiddies. We had a ton of fun and I practiced with the two most beautiful subjects (in my humble opinion - but I am the author of this blog, so mine is the only opinion that counts!) and tried out some settings on my camera. Not too bad if you ask me. HP is getting more and more beautiful as time goes on.

And of course, my jokester, Quinners. She always has a "cheese" face whenever the camera comes out. I love her in black and white though.

Today is my birthday, and so far so good. I was spoiled rotten by Roger, as he bought me a gift card for a store that I cannot afford to walk into. Cannot wait to spend his money there! (it is lululemon by the way.....) It is the most overpriced, status symbol active/yoga wear that you can imagine, but it somehow makes everyone's ass look good. That is what I am aiming for baby. Hey, when you are 37 you are feeling lucky it is still somewhat where it was 10 years ago!

Dinner out tomorrow at the Tapa Bar with Roger and friends. Even a babysitter! Getting my hair re-hilighted tomorrow, and chillen' out tonight.

Happy birthday to me.

Ok, Ok, we bought a friggen' HOUSE already!

2008-03-06T14:16:00.000-08:00

Lucky #13

The backyard (but I already dream of a zen garden, with water falls, buddha greeting me, and lots of bamboo, potted plants and gettin' rid of the grass.

Note to self - take camera off cool mode.
This is the fireplace (see Buddha - I wanna make him mine!)

Totally blurry, but I was attempting to be incognito and take photos while the building inspector was doing his thing. This is the dining room looking into the kitchen.

Three bedrooms, three bathrooms, 1550 square feet, fireplace, walk in closet, and backyard.
It all it's ugly glory - it is ours.

The floors are new, the upstairs is redone, the kitchen makes me feel as though Austin Powers is going to walk in and say "groovy baby". It is being gutted asap. Rona has already been phoned and scheduled for a demo/redo/upgrade.

Breaking into the Victoria market is tough. This gem was on the market for 340K and we managed to be blessed enough to get it for 300K. Yep. 300K. Where I grew up, one could have bought a subdivision for that amount in the 1970's. So I learn to forget about the numbers, and look to the fact that we will own, have a mortgage and finally have broken into the market.

Just for the record, single family detached homes are ranging in price (for 3 bed/3 bath) from $450,000 - millions and millions.

The total upside is that we will be paying $43 more a month on a mortgage than what we are paying for here in the projects (oops, I mean the CO-OP).

June 23 cannot come fast enough.

Build a Bear Party for HP (or how to spend money at an enormously fast rate)

2008-03-06T13:57:00.000-08:00

Lunch at Boston Pizza after the party.....Roger, Earl and I all celebrated HP"s day with a cider.
Hayley showing off her new digital watch that Roger and I bought her. Now when asked the time, she will day....46 minutes after 9. (never quarter to 10)
Roger, Quinn and Hayley - rarely in a photo together.
The signature bear that we all wrote on, and "Cuddles" the rabbit - built by HP.
Her button that she proudly wore all day long.
Hayley showing off her bear. She was stoked that we all signed it and that she could bring it home.
Some little buddies that were at the party.
My beautiful 8 year old girl.
The stuffing process of "Princess" the Hippo that Quinners chose.

Hayley turned eight on March 2nd and we had her party at Build A Bear. It was actually very good - stress free, and fun. Once we turned over the budget to the leader - she took care of the finances and so there was no tears to spend more, and more, and more. It is a place that will easily rob you of cash - spend wisely or your bear will be better dressed than you.

After we took her 5 friends to Boston Pizza for lunch and had cake and opened presents. Such fun for all!

After the party Hayley promptly went home, got a fever, sore throat and the flu and has been out of commission and taking up residence on the couch ever since.

Happy birthday - you partied yourself sick. I thought that it would be years until I uttered those words!

A day at the park...Victoria style!

2008-02-22T21:17:00.003-08:00

Hayley with the beautiful Gorge behind her. This is what I see a glimpse of out of my kitchen window and we attempt to walk along it when the weather agrees.
We like to call this the "Gene Simmons-tongue out-rocking out to Bon Jovi" pose. It is her favorite by far.
Quinners and "R" the fauxhawk daycare boy running in the grass.
Quinners riding the whale.
Could not resist throwing this one it. Yes, dear readers, they are in fact daffodils almost in bloom.

I love living in sunny Victoria.

Tribute to the man I love

2008-02-14T14:08:00.001-08:00

Roger, I love you, and dedicate this blog entry to you.

How do I love you (I wonder that myself...) just joking.....

I love that you loved me when it was forbidden - cuz I was your boss and you were my employee.

I love you that you loved Hayley from the start.

I love you because you are an individual, and make me look inside of appearances and see what people are inside. Outside you are a grouchy, tattooed, argumentative, opinionated frenchman, while inside you are a dimple sporting, quiet, supportive, loving, great dad, kindhearted, gentle man. Thank you.

I love you because you let me buy a million strollers and still let me vent that they are not the one that I am looking for.

I love you that when you look at less than perfect pictures taken on my expensive camera that you say that it is a camera issue - not an operator one.

I love you because you love me since my oral surgery.

I love you because you eat my gluten free disasters, all the while keeping silent, and then saying, "well that was not my favorite". Gross, mine neither.

I love you because you remember that M&M's are gluten free and smarties are not.

I love you because you bath Quinn, and she loves it that way. You also cut her hair, her nails and hold her hand. You taught her how to wash her hair with a bowl, and for that I am eternally thankful.

I love you because you only want the best for this family.

I love you when we kiss standing up, just because there is not a lot of height difference between us.

I love you because you think that a holiday for us includes going to Quesnel.

I love you because you talk me off the ledge. And that you let me talk you off the ledge as well.

I love you because you let me be a packrat.

I love you because you see the value in having time spent at home.

You are content to be just with me, and for that I love.

Roger, I love you.

Vegas anyone?

Hey, your crown is crooked

2008-02-13T07:27:00.001-08:00

Quinn has been wearing this crown she made in preschool lately. She believes that it gives her special powers, as in yelling, foot stomping, toy grabbing, invisibility for snack taking, sleep deprivation, and bossiness.

Oh ya, even without the hat she has these powers.

I wonder if Hayley knows that Quinn is actually eating HER snacks?

Yep, not enough mommy guilt, so I added more

2008-02-06T17:23:00.000-08:00

Scuffed nose courtesy of mommy. On Tuesday Quinners ran out in front of me, while trying to NOT fall on her, I grabbed her back. In the process flipped her legs out from under her, and voila - face met pavement. No hands to protect her either. She had a two nostril bleeding nose, and now is sporting a scrape.

Yep, not enough guilt on a daily basis - gotta add more with some blood and scabs.

Good thing no school photos are coming up soon.

The Best Poem Ever

2008-01-31T14:28:00.000-08:00

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a feeling of control over her destiny. .

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that her childhood may not have been perfect..but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..

whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month..and a year...

Pst. I have a secret

2008-01-25T13:59:00.000-08:00

I am blogging on my other blog again.

Check me out there too!

Just click on "MY NEW BLOG SPOT" on right hand side. Fellow gluten free readers unite!

RaMBLINGS OR SOMETHING....

2008-01-23T20:55:00.000-08:00

I feel that I am somewhat detached from my blog as of late. Life seems to be flying past me, yet at the same time, I am doing what I set out to do in 2008. I am reading more, with two books on the go, and two more coming in from Amazon.ca anytime. I am scrapbooking WAY more. I have completed my entire Vernon/wedding/girls summer weekend away, working on Christmas, and have loads of semi finished-but-at-least-printed-off-the-computer so-they-count pages. I am holding hands with Roger more, reading with the girls, tolerating the daycare kiddies, and drinking less coffee. I feel good.

I attended our Celiac restaurant night out tonight. I always feel akin to how I did when I attended Rotary meetings with my mom. I want to still introduce myself as someone's daughter. Nope. No sirry. This is my organization! I pay the membership! I reap the benefits! Like tonight. I got to dine in confidence with other Celiacs, talking about food while eating food. Ya, my kind of night. Actually I liked the getting dressed up for once, wearing my black boots and putting on mascara.

Life is good.

Celebration of Life

2008-01-13T19:42:00.000-08:00

Today was Roger's dad's celebration of life, held in the Sooke Legion. We left the house in plenty of time, which was good, as Quinn decided to throw up in the van about 5 minutes out of Sooke. She had to ride the rest of the way in her shirt, and underwear and shoes. In a different car seat. With the van having the distinct aroma of bile. YUCK. Nothing like being all dressed up and attempting to clean barf up with gas station paper towels all the while attempting to maintain composure and patience. It is all good. There is a great consignment store in Sooke that looked after us, and Quinn looked awesome for her Papa's day.

The celebration was great. There was an awesome turn out, with last count being 275 people. That is 275 people that Gilles touched in some way. That made my heart swell. Quinn and Hayley pinned poppies on the cross in remembrance of him, and there were nary a dry eye when the letter from his mom in Quebec was read. A lovely tribute to an awesome man.

Thank you to all who thought of us today, sent us warm wishes and attended the service. Roger and I appreciate all of you, knowing that you were there for us made the day easier to get through.

Tag - I'M it!

2008-01-09T22:23:00.000-08:00

Tagged by fabgrandma, and because I am such a good sport, I will play.

God forbid, If I don't I may not get asked out for a playdate again. Then spend all my day alone.

Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
Share 5 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog.
Share the 5 top places on your "want to see or want to see again" list.
Tag a minimum of 5 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Five random and/or weird things about me:

1. Very nervous about locking my children in the car. Almost a phobia. Especially with my brain capacity some days and the invention of automatic door locks.

2. I weighed 207 pounds on the day I gave birth to Hayley. I weigh 127 now. That is 80 pounds that I lost and NEVER found since. Yahoo!

3. We almost moved to Saudi Arabia when I was younger. My dad would have been a heavy duty mechanic with the oil fields. We never did. I am thankful.

4. When I was in kindergarten, my brother was born. When he was in kindergarten, my sister was born. When she was in kindergarten, we all held our breath. No more siblings.

5. I secretly love watching cartoon movies with Quinn. Especially Madagascar, Over the Hedge, and Chicken Little. Hayley and I could watch and re-watch Harry Potter forever. Not so up to date on what adults watch. I don't really care.

Five places I want to see:

1. Paris

2. Mexico

3. Tofino (again - so pretty)

4. Mom and dad's backyard

5. the inside of an airplane to anywhere without the kiddies for once in my life.

I tag:

LKW
the Queen
My sister
Lynn (free to eat)
anyone from Wet Coast woman

**not giving out links for privacy agreement. Sorry folks!**

Ramblings

2008-01-08T07:11:00.000-08:00

I have not been posting as of late, due to many reasons.

Roger's dad passed away on December 22nd, and I have been devoting my time to his needs. There seems like there is a lot to do to be organized for his "celebration of life" that will take place on January 13th. So we have been busy with this.

Also, I am in the midst of some soul searching. I am looking to make my life less "busy" and when that time comes to sit back and enjoy nothing. I am forever wishing this, then when it falls into place, I create new projects, pick up new daycare kids or enroll in some new activity. I am searching for nothingness and hoping to find it soon. My soul needs this.

I am reading a great book that is taking my through my journey, called "Eat, Pray, Love" and I highly recommend it. It is full of humor, life lessons and explores one woman's quest for inner peace. She is easy to read, and very down to earth.

I gave my notice to one daycare boy yesterday, and am talking to another family in regards to the same thing today. I guess this is my way of reducing. thanks Queen! Reducing the sweat, the in and out of the van, the food that leaves my house and the amount of time that is NOT spent with my own daughters.

We were very fortunate that Roger's dad looked after us financially, and for the first time in my life I have the very blessed assurance of being debt free. We paid off Roger's student loan, my van and all the niggly debt that was pestering us. Now what we make, we have. Such an awesome feeling that only those that were in debt can fully appreciate. We continue to be in awe of the foresight that this man had, and are forever thankful to him.

My words for 2008 - appreciate, devote, complete, and inner peace. All of which are capable in my life.

Christmas: Captured in film

2007-12-31T18:10:00.000-08:00

Licking the whip cream beaters

fun with nana Margo

Healy'ing on Christmas day in the Canadian Tire parking lot

Quinner running very fast.

Wadya mean my dress is sticking up in the back??

Hayley as a donkey at her Sunday School concert.

Drinking tea with her mittens on - Christmas Eve at Liz's house.

The note that Hayley left for Santa.

Learning to knit a "scrug"- we told her later that it was a "shrug"

Roller skating inside Carole and Eric's house on Boxing Day.

What are you still doing?

2007-12-30T09:49:00.000-08:00

Antique Mommy asked her readers to comment on what they are still doing. Here are my answers.

Still amazed: at how I was blessed to be the mom to Hayley and Quinn, all the while secretly knowing that I have no clue what I am doing half the time.

Still getting used to: sharing Hayley with her dad on the weekends

Still loving: my body

Still proud of: leaving home when I was 17 to be a Rotary Exchange student to Australia - leaving behind my classmates that I had grown up with to graduate without me!

Still not proud of: past relationships left in need of repair.

Still hoping: forgive, embrace and move forward

Still worried: outliving my children

Still never going to: going on a "discover yourself" safari. All inclusive for me baby!

Still pretending: to not be in love with someone

Still reading: ever single night

Still wanting to read: the Secret

Still interested in: owning a house someday

Still not interested in: keeping up with the Jones' (not you Tanya - you are my cousin and I would keep up with you anyday!!)

Still looking forward to: a summer holiday in my mom's backyard

Still not looking forward to: having Quinn tested for Celiac

Still failing: run three times a week without fail

Still grateful for:my health, each and every day I get to tuck my kiddies in

Still praying: that Hayley and Quinn are always the best of friends.

Still not believing in: the quick fix

Still believing in: mankind

Christmas

2007-12-24T08:41:00.002-08:00

My mom made me this beautiful wall hanging in celebration of Christmas. Here is what is quilted on it:

The Miracle of Christmas is Hope

The Spirit of Christmas is Peace

The Heart of Christmas is Love

The Warmth of Christmas is Friendship

While I do not want to downplay my true beliefs of why we celebrate Christmas, I also know that we should incorporate all other aspects into your holiday celebrations.

All the best to all my friends throughout the Season.

He is the Reason.

We lost a good man today

2007-12-22T17:13:00.000-08:00

Gilles with his mom, Annette and father, Gaby - Summer 2007

Not a great photo, but Gilles with me, Roger and Chantal - Summer 2007

Gilles Beaulieu
March 14, 1951 - December 22, 2007

Always in our thoughts, never far from our hearts.

The very strange Christmas concert

2007-12-21T07:28:00.000-08:00

Hayley had her annual school concert last night, and it was a strange one. Here are some diddies that were sung:
**Deck the Halls with Recycled Paper
**I'm dreaming of a green Christmas
**The Christmas Hop (complete with poodle skirts and jive music)

An appearance was made by "David Suzuki" (aka kiddie) to encourage us to "go green" and save the environment. There were candles lit for all the celebrations: Ramadan, Kwanzaa, Christmas, Hanukkah, and prayers were sent up for thanksgiving to the Salish tribe for the land on which the school was on. It covered all basis.

On the bright side, I am honing in on my video skills and here is Hayley (once again) in her singing and dancing debut. If nothing else,, she and the Kindergarten class dressed as trees singing "with a HO and a HE and HO HO HE" made me laugh.

Merry Christmas, however you celebrate it.

PS- the tilting was Quinners grabbing my camera. I think that it add character.

I CARE a LOT bear.

2007-12-15T20:01:00.000-08:00

Has to hold the sign so we know what she is.

Hayley and her dad, Earl.

Hayley had her first ever skate carnival today, and I, brave as I am, decided to video tape it off my camera. Without reading any instruction manual. Without really focusing on what i was doing. With about 5 seconds to spare before I had to go back and put skate guards on the other care bears. For those of you that don't know, she is the one in the gray track suit, with "Christmas tree bear" so carefully made on the front. Also, the one with the tail glued on upside down. One of the older skaters ever so "nicely" pointed that out.

So basically, readers, you get to see her skate round and round in a circle, practicing her "I am the Queen wave" and looking damn cute.

Author note - I made that costume. Add glue gun to my list of wants. Along with a new vacuum cleaner. Not dollar store variety. I am just pleased that no one tripped on the sequins that fell off during the making of this video.

The curse of the household appliance

2007-12-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

Ever get the feeling that your vacumn sucks? But not in the right way, not in sucking up dirt and debris, but just sucking in general?? It is maddening, as I lug it out, plug it in, turn it on, and proceed to push it back and forth - in hopes of it gathering up all the crap that has collected on my rugs. All the while my youngest princess is running and screaming like a banshee - for she thinks that it is cause for a party.

Then after I put the said appliance away - I walk on my rug and spot fluff, bits and scraps, a polly pocket shoe or two, and popcorn kernels. Obviously it needs refreshing on it's job description. When you vacumn, you are to collect the dirt. Not move it to a new spot on the rug.

Here in lies the dilemma. It is close to Christmas, and in no way, shape or form, am I getting a new appliance for Christmas. Hell will freeze over and I will ice skate pairs with Satan before I get up on the 25th and see a Dyson sitting there under the tree. Why not just accompany that with a new broom and a garden hose? Ya, what every girls dreams of. Not.

So with all the added work that the vacumn will have now that we have our Christmas tree up and it is shedding needles like a angora bunny - let's see how long the beast lasts.

We do have hardwood floors in the majority of our downstairs, I could always invest in a hokey - you know the broom-like thing you see in the restaurant industry. How cool of a mom would I be to ask my oldest daughter to "sweep" the carpet?

Your hands

2007-12-07T14:35:00.001-08:00

Quinn, when you were a baby, your hands would curl around mine, and engulf me in so much love I thought my heart would burst wide open. Your hands have been very busy. They reach out for a cuddle, they wrap around my neck and squeeze - transferring your love to my body. No matter how weary, how tired, how exhausting they day may have been, your hands around my neck make it all worth while.

Your hands have painted, drawn, sculpted play dough, decorated my sidewalk with chalk, held bubble blowers and made bubbles dance in the air. They have been dirty, clean, burned, scratched, donned band aids, nail polish and sharpie pen drawings. They hold you up and keep me grounded. They cuddle stuffies and curl into your body when sleep overtakes you at night.

Your hands are practicing for adulthood. Then they have the arduous task of signing cheques, writing grocery lists, typing documents, driving your car and carrying the weight of the world. They will caress babies, wipe away tears, and cuddle with someone else. They will push me away, slam doors and text message everyone other than me. They will hold someone else's hand and make them feel special.

Stay little, my Quinners. Hold my hand and make me feel safe. Let me use my hands to wipe tears and wrap you into my arms. You are special, and wherever you go, whatever you do, remember that my hands will always be here to hold you.

Love, Mommy

Snow and the case of mistaken identity

2007-12-02T08:52:00.000-08:00

So the Island received snow yesterday. And in true Island fashion it comes floating down in great huge flakes, blanketing everything in clean white strokes of winter wonder. It gave the children about a half an hour of pure bliss of running in it, gathering it up (along with leaves, cigarette butts and rocks) to make snowballs, cheering madly that we have snow for Christmas. Let's be real everyone, we did not even have snow for lunchtime. It melted before we even persuaded Quinn to wear her winter boots. And not her tutu.

Let's be clear on one thing. Snow in Northern BC = beauty. Long lasting whiteness. Five, sometimes six, months of whiteness. Snow on the Island = rain before long. Short lived fun. Long lived slush. Drivers with socks and sandals. Cars with the top down and the heat on. Five, maybe six minutes of whiteness. Not fun in my books.

But, alas. Old Mother Hubbard also visited us throughout the week and our cupboards were bare. We had no fruit. No veggies. No cream for coffee. Cereal, no milk. Time to part with cash and eat. So we venture out in the white slush and go to the grocery store. Only to remember that my van is involved in a move this weekend and the car that is in my driveway is very tiny. As in smartie size. As in, my kids and my purse are inside and I feel claustrophobic. That tiny. But we have to eat, so off we go. Quinn squished in her car seat with a snowsuit on. Roger beside me. Me breathing into a paper bag as I feel the world closing in on me. $200 later we are like a side show at the circus attempting to find room for all of this lovely food. We drive home with Quinn having the dubious honor of riding shotgun with the eggs and bread. Unload the groceries and I say to Roger, "hmmm, seemed like a lot in the car, why does the fridge seem like $200 more would nicely fit?"

Conclusion made. I am a driver of a minivan. Sadly as that sounds I am. I like the room, the space between me and the kids. I like that we have three row seating. That no one kicks the back of my seat. I like that 4 litres of milk does not make the van "full". So if you happen to see me driving a little black smartie around town, cutting people off and driving too fast - that was my alter ego. Not the real Michelle.

Plus all Celiacs know. Smarties are not gluten-free anyhow.

Only those from BC will get the humor is this one!

2007-11-29T13:17:00.000-08:00

You might be from British Columbia if:

1. You know the provincial flower (Mildew)

2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

3. Use the statement "sunny break" and know what it means.

4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.

5. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.

6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.

7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal.

8. You consider that, if it has no snow on it then it is not a real mountain.

9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Blendz, Moka House and Tim Horton's.

10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.

11. You know how to pronounce Squamish, Osoyoos, Ucluelet, Esquimalt, Sooke & Nanaimo.

12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.

13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese,Vietnamese, Korean and Thai food.

14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark while only working eight-hour days.

15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.

16. You are not fazed by Today's forecast:: "showers followed by rain," and

Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."

17. You cannot wait for a day with "showers and sunny breaks".

18. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.

19. You know that Dawson Creek is a town, not a TV show.

20. You can point to at least two ski mountains, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.

21. You notice "the mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.

22. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 5, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.

23. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 10, but keep the socks on.

24. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.

25. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.

26. You recognize the background shots in your favorite movies & TV shows.

27. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you can't find the old ones after such a long time.

28. You measure distance in hours.

29. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in your car in the same day.

30. You use a down comforter in the summer.

31. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.

32. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.

33. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer) & Raining Again (Fall).

34. You actually understand ALL these jokes and forward them to all your friends in BC... or those who used to live here!

Trip to Vancouver

2007-11-27T13:12:00.001-08:00

My new second cousin, welcome baby Jessica and congrats to my cousin Tanya!
Quinn loved the baby, and "petted" her head whenever she could. Hayley and Sam were only there for the entertainment value!
My beautiful, and growing up too fast, daughter, Hayley and Cadance, my niece.
Me and the two girls at the "Disney on Ice" performance. It was incredible!
Could not resist posting this one. This is Quinn and Hayley drinking $15 snow cones. Can you even believe it!

We had an amazing trip to Vancouver this past weekend. The gods, however, were against me, as my Mastercard was left to fend for itself on the Island. I guess that is one way to keep in budget!

We met mom, dad, Steph (sis) and Cadance (niece) in Langley and stayed at a hotel with a pool. It was only about a 10 minute drive (if you remember which exit) to my cousin Missy's house and even more second cousins. We had a blast swimming, talking and laughing. I am so lucky. I have two cousins whom I am very close to. We have kids that get along - we scrapbook - we laugh, have fun, cuddle our babies and take loads of photos. I love them both.

My niece and sister were also there, and boy is she cute! She is like a little fairy nymph. You just want to eat her up. She is walking now, toddling all over the place. It was also the first time that I had seen my sister since she was diagnosed with Celiac. She is managing well, it is so overwhelming the first year. She was over the moon when I told her all the junk food that she could eat though!

Disney on Ice was so good. Quinn sat mesmerized for two hours and Hayley loved it as well. All in all a great weekend away. Must do it again soon!

In Remembrance

2007-11-12T08:46:00.000-08:00

"Without remembrance, there is repeating." ANON

Remembering is an act. It is faith that what happened long ago was not in vain. It is the acknowledgement of sacrifice and selflessness that war brought. It is knowing that young faces, often naive men, signed up to serve without the slightest idea of what is will cost them and their families. It is also knowing others stayed behind, in their country, not because they did not want to fight, but rather because they had jobs and commodities that deemed important for the war efforts to take place. It is for young women who darned socks, built care packages, tended to the sick, and typed letters of condolences when young soldiers lost their lives. It is remembering that hate ruled, guns spoke out instead of words, and violence was commonality. It is homes of fox-holes, of utter trust that went into the hearts of men, and killing before they, themselves were killed.

Seeing the elderly veterans today made me realize they were once these soldiers. They were not always the seniors that sit in the Legion, that drive scooters, that walk slow and interrupt my busy lives with their tardiness. They are not the inconvenience that look for exact change in the grocery line up, nor were they always the octogenarian that tells me that my girls need hats on their heads in the slightest cold. They were once young, visiting the dance halls, sneaking a kiss and a feel up in the car ride home. They were like me. They were raising babies, eking out a living, fighting with spouses......or worse yet, going it alone as their partner lost their lives. They have layers of pain, memories, tragedy, and sorrow. They may be old and cantankerous, buy they earned it. They have seen more than I ever will.

I thought about what it would be like to live through a war. To have entire towns say goodbye to the young soldiers, and then celebrate those that returned with a parade. To see strangers come up your drive and ring your doorbell only to deliver the worst news known to mankind. To have a funeral for someone that only has a memory, not a body. Or the opposite. To have your heart burst with pride and joy knowing the end has come on the 11th hour of the 11th month on the 11th day. To once again embrace those that left so long ago.

I took time to remember today. I urge you to as well my friends. Lets all be thankful for the strangers that sacrificed so much.

My mean ol' boss

2007-11-07T13:01:00.000-08:00

My boss is very picky today. She has presented me with deadlines that are impossible to meet, she is demanding, temperamental and above all - irrational. I don't know what to do. It is not as if I can just quit, I have others that depend on me. My job is not an easy on to fill either - not like you can just put an add in the paper and wait for the responses to pour in.

Some days my boss is great. She makes me laugh, fosters my self esteem, tells me I am beautiful, and wants to be around me. Then there are days like today.

My boss is two and a half. Her name is Quinn, and she needs a nap.

For those that do not know I am taking a parenting course through the LIFE seminars. It is aptly called "Sidestepping the Power Struggle" and I love it. I am learning so much, and it is enabling me to be a better parent. This is a excerpt from my course.

THE GOOD CHILD

Effective parents produce normal children, not "good children". The message "I love you honey, but I hate everything about your behaviour!" doesn't have a great outcome in the bigger picture. If we are expecting children to be "good" then we really have to CUT IT OUT! Good children curb curiosity in order to be quiet, hide strong feeling and learn to be obedient. They can grow into adults who permit others to treat them badly, can't stand up for themselves or be assertive, and feel ashamed of their true self.

Isn't it amazing to hear people describe a good baby? Sleeps a lot, eats a lot, has bowel movements at regular times and doesn't cry much. The child gets older and starts to separate and assert himself and now what? Does that make him bad? It seems that "good" just means creating little work or trouble for adults. It has nothing to do with the child's moral awareness, kindness, empathy, psychological or spiritual health.

This is normal, healthy childish behaviour. Does your child fit here anywhere?
*makes messes and forgets to clean up (take a look in my girls room)
*gets into a lot of things (my makeup, hair products, cotton balls.....)
*misuses time (time to go in the van = time to find a toy)
*gets distracted (getting her backpack takes 15 minutes)
*fails to plan ahead (not hungry now = no food for later)
*makes great messes and resists (or can't) clean up (my life, need not expand)
*says things that aren't true (Quinn was once sick while riding in a helicopter)
*loses things (jackets, water bottles, agenda, scarf, mitts, head)
*can't focus on what is important....in my mind (manners)
*has mistaken ideals about the world (money grows on trees)
*forgets her manners (dinner every night)
*can act rude, inconsiderate and loud (farting and laughing, then telling everyone again)
*seems to think only of herself (but I need it right now, don't care if you are peeing)
*argues about silly things (rubber boots do go with everything you know!)
*says she can't do things that she can do just fine (like walking)

My kids must be normal. Maybe I need a coffee break from my little bossy boss today.

Photos of the scary day!

2007-11-02T14:40:00.000-07:00

Picasso the Pumpkin

Quinn's pumpkin

Trick or treating princess

Hayley's dad and his mask of horror!

Princess Quinn in all her glory

Me (doctor Michelle), Hayley (princess Leah) and Quinn (pink princess) goofing off.

Hayley as Princess Leah

The daycare kiddies

So Halloween was a great success. Quinn had moments of nervousness with dark doorways and smoky areas, but other than that she was a trooper. As for Hayley, she looked awesome in her Princess Leah costume - and managed to bring in over 125 candies for her dining pleasure and my dental bill's demise this year.

I dressed up as a doctor, and the girls loved it! It was a fun costume, and I have to admit, it started as something that I did for the girls, and now do for me as well.

We had a daycare party through the day and they all had fun. We danced to crazy Halloween music and ate orange popcorn with spiders in it. Then mellowed out and watched "Dora's Halloween".

I am thankful there are no more candy ridden holidays until Christmas. Although, have to admit, like those chocolates that are filled with baileys.

Sunday at Oldfeild Orchard

2007-10-29T19:11:00.000-07:00

We spent Sunday at Oldfield Orchard (which is a not a hobby farm, but a full-blown money making establishment. It was a ton of fun.Quinn looking through the guillotine but laughing instead and pointing at me taking the photo.
The photo of us on the hay ride. Hayley was not with us this day, instead she was at her own Halloween party with the Sunday School.
Mr. and Mrs. John Deere. Driving the tractor. Well, actually just pretending, but don't tell Quinners that.

Quinn on the minature pony ride. All the proceeds went to Cops for Cancer, and by the time we were done, they drained all change from our wallets. She loved this. Apparently she did not find it too "dangerous" as she quoted riding horses at my Aunty Bonnie and Uncle Brian's farm this summer in Kamloops.

More photos to come on All Hallows Eve. Even one of me in my costume!

Just try not to relate to this!

2007-10-25T14:12:00.001-07:00

OMG! so true it is scary!

The mom song.

Bring your sister to preschool day

2007-10-19T14:10:00.001-07:00

Hayley and Quinn making a teddy bear mask.

Teacher Hayley helping out. Doesn't she look so big??

What else can I glue?

Oh, I know, I will glue the stick so when mommy picks it up her hand will stick to it!

Well, it is my first official Friday off of daycare, and it was a pro-d day. Quinn thought it was a blast that Hayley could come to "school" with her. She was so proud, telling everyone that her "seester" was here! We had a great day, after school we drove downtown and went to a vintage toy store, then looked at new high top runners and pillaged Value Village. Came home $4 less rich as there were no bargains to be found. Had a great time anyhow.

Hayley and I are watching all the Star Wars movies together. I was really never into them when I was a kid, but seeing them through her eyes is brilliant. They are true classic movies. They have left such an impression on her that she is even dressing up as Princess Leah for ol' Trick or Treat day. I made the costume...wait...don't applaud. The skirt is a pillow case with the bottom cut off and elastic for the waist. The top is a 99 cent deal from the Sally Ann that is a huge caftan beach shirt that we altered and her hair is a wig from San Fransisco's that we are in the midst of winding around ear muffs for the ear-bun look that made her famous. HA! Pictures will come in due time.

Quinn wants to be a princess. Just straight out of the dress up box. Go for it I say. She will probably accent the outfit with her rubber boots anyhow. My favorite part is the look of utter joy when they get candy in their bag, and how to hide it from Roger.

Happy Friday!

Stupid things I have seen

2007-10-11T20:41:00.000-07:00

This week alone, I have seen:

**pouring rain, mom pushing stroller in $200 GAP jacket, UGG boots (another $200) and 7 of Mankind (I believe) jeans on. Kid was barefoot. Come on.

**co-op kids having a heydey in a Zeller's shopping cart. Full on *Jack*ass* moves - down hills, unleashed, yelling as if it was fun. Yet stupid people survive these ordeals and carry on to breed.

**van with ducktape and saran wrap on the passenger door window. Who am I kidding, probably was no-name brand cling wrap.

**socks and flip flops. Is that not a wee bit rubbing between your big toe and second toe? hello west coast gone wrong.

**my wallet stolen out of my front seat - then credit cards used. For what you ask? On line poker, QVC and a bag of chips/soft drink combo at the Oceanic market. Go big or go home I always say.

**dog wearing a rain hat. He had his head down. Probably knew how dumb he looked.

**and the stupid thing I have seen was....

Roger and two of our neighbours trying to get an already assembled 6X8 shed into our backyard, lifting it over their heads, over the fence, negotiating my flower garden....but I guess I was the stupid one.

I asked them to do it.

**

Be thankful

2007-10-07T07:18:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about what it means to be truly thankful. Thinking for me equates blogging. So as you can see, my faithful readers, I have not been doing a whole lot of thinking as of late.

I have come to the realization that being truly thankful means not wanting to change anything. I know that there are many things in my life that I am thankful for, as I could not function as me if I did not have them as a part. Then there are the others.......

I am thankful for my house, although I wish that we had ownership, a low mortgage and a load of property that my girls could run on. Instead I possess the biggest backyard in the co-op and the cul-de-sac on which they can ride their bikes.

I am thankful for my health, although I wish that I did not have the gene pool to pass my autoimmune disorder to my children, or I would have more.

I am thankful for a partner to spend my days with. I do wish, however, that he was more in tune to my feelings, brought me flowers everyday and showered me with love and undying attention. I guess I am very thankful that HE showers.

I am thankful for my mom and dad. I wish and pray that one day we will live closer together so that we can spend more time together. That or ruby red slippers that we can put on and tap together and presto....hugs from my mom.

I am thankful that we have food, water and shelter. Why does it have to come at a price of working lots, being frugal, and living in the co-op?

I am thankful for great friends. I wish that we had more time in our busy lives to have coffee together, look up new and exciting recipes, and exchange parenting tips.

Something that I am very thankful for, something that I would not change, who I am pleased with is me.

I like me. I think I have a wicked sense of humor, am a great friend, and am solid in my thoughts and feelings. I am happy with my life, in most aspects, and content with my choices. I love my two girls, get giddy thinking that I produced such unique lives. They are crazy, busy, thoughtful, charming, and although sometimes I feel that I am raising girls with the manners of trained monkeys...........I love them.

So this thanksgiving I challenge you to think of what you are truly thankful for. I bet it is more than you think.

Something, however, I am not thankful for is that now I must sign off and don my runners. It is the time for me to get out the door and run the 8K portion of the Garden City Marathon. In the rain. With 10,000 others. To be rewarded with muffins (hahaha,,insult to injury to a Celiac).

Happy thanksgiving my friends.

Pre-pre-school today

2007-09-21T13:36:00.000-07:00

outside of Commonwealth Pool

having snacks

but I really like the flag part of kindergym

how is that for a smiley face??

look at the windblown hair! I am jealous!

Partly to do with mother-hood guilt, partly to do with wanting to see how the "other-half does it" (read - people with real jobs outside the home), and partly to do something with only Quinn; we enrolled in Stepping Up to Preschool. On paper we are to leave our children in the great hands of trained professionals for 45 minutes, all the while sipping on fresh brewed coffee and aimlessly catching up on current events. In reality we are standing at the back of the classroom trying to blend in with the other parents who's children will not let them open to doors to the outside world.

Quinn did amazingly well for a pint sized wonder who has done basically nothing without me right beside her. I even amazed myself by leaving for an entire 10 minutes before the teacher tracked me down in the cafe with a sobbing Quinners in her arms. She loves her mommy, what can I say? She settled quick for snack time, painted an Picaso'esq painting of a pink storm, and sung the "itsy-bitzy spider" song at the top of her lungs. As you can see from the photos, she did enjoy kindergym and would not have given a rat's arse if I was there or not.

She is the youngest there, by three months. And everyone cried. Even some mommies. Those that actually let the parents/grandparents/caregivers leave. I am proud of her. She sang her lungs out.

There is always the radio to listen to for the current events of the world anyhow, and it may be an acquired taste, but I like my coffee nuked at least once.

Hey, have you met me?

2007-09-13T20:37:00.000-07:00

Have we met?

Allow me to introduce myself. I am hormonally induced crazy woman. Let me write out the math equation that brought me here:

September + new routine + skating fees + new skates + new daycare kiddies + Roger + a two year old + not enough sleep + bank balance dropping faster than a speeding bullet + PMS + being the only driver =

Hormonally induced crazy woman.

My talents include (in no particular order): crying, yelling, head spinning, not listening, wearing elastic waist pants, feeling bloated, carrying mother-guilt, drinking too much coffee, searching the web for a new island to live on, and driving my family nuts.

Wanna come over?

Can you say allergies?????

2007-09-07T07:25:00.000-07:00

Zaiden.

We had friends for dinner last night, really good friends of Roger's that live in Victoria that we don't get to see near often enough. They have a beautiful baby boy, Zaiden, and Quinn and Hayley loved having a little one to cuddle and play hide-and-seek with.

As for dinner, that was another story. We had to put our heads together and come up with a meal that was.....gluten-free, lactose-free, vegetarian, tasty and edible. Not an easy task. Shannon and I split the duty and came up with a wild and crazy concoction that even the girls attempted and ate some of. We did, however, make some steak kabobs for Roger the meat-eating carnivore that he is. Heaven forbid I hide some tofu or soy in his diet. We had a great meal, great conversation, and would do it again in an instant.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

2007-09-07T07:23:00.000-07:00

Can you just see how happy she is to start Grade 2? You should take a glimpse of me.......

Flashback without added drug use

2007-09-01T14:09:00.000-07:00

Last night we were transported back in time. Who knew that Betty (the van) was also doing side-duty as a time machine? Yes, we teleported right into the land of big, bad hair; too-tight-stirrup-pants-on-too-fat-arses; misbehaved children and roll-back prices. They have got to place that huge smily face everywhere or there will be mass riots and fights over the latest "George" brand clothing. (I often wondered if that is what Boy George is doing now that he is unemployed in the music world? one has to wonder.....)

For those of you that do not know, I detest Walmart and all that it is. Not that I have anything against big box stores, I shop at Cosco. Not that I have any problem with having to match your clothing to a big blue vest everyday...to each their own. Not that I even have issues with their products and prices. It is simply this - I spent too much there.

I am cheap. Very cheap. I do not buy retail, I am known by name and shoe size at most neighbourhood thrift stores. I do not like anyone taking my money. God knows, I don't have much of it - so leave it in my overdrawn bank account where it belongs. Each and every time that I enter into the huge doors of Walmart stupid spray is vaporized on me leaving me a blubbering idiot. I wander aimlessly throughout the isles, throwing products in willy-nilly whether we need them or not. Price mark down on gerrycurl...I am in. Hmmm, diaper rash cream for the almost-potty-trained girly....chuck 'er in. Looky here, they got some flip-flops for $3! (see previous post...not needed any more of those suckers!)

We go in because for three days now we have been reaping in the missed-the-potty puddles on the floor. Quinners so wants to be a big girl so she is forgoing diapers. And the potty. And choosing to pee wherever, whenever and doing whatever. I am finding panties everywhere, and none of them mine. So with our other choice being a safety pin and a tee towel (safety pin already being used) we go get diapers.

God the hair we saw. Big, nasty, bangs straight up hair. Right out of my 1989 grad photos. Whoa. And who in their right mind takes their kids out in a diaper only? There was some strange people there, I kid you not.

So in the end, I get to the cashier, armed with diapers, new sippy cups and ketchup (great combo) and we high-tail it out of there. Getting in the van Roger and I have a bit of a chuckle on the sights and sounds of Langford Walmart, all the while realizing that is how we just spent our Friday night.

Pathetic.

Better Support

2007-08-29T13:39:00.000-07:00

UFC

2007-08-26T10:25:00.000-07:00

Yep, me who detests violence, hosted a UFC fight night here. Actually Roger did the inviting and I did the party planning. I LOVE parties, any excuse to have one is alright with me!

So with money in tow, off to the grocery store I go. Dips, chips, mushroom caps, pizza sauce, cream cheese....oh the list was making my mouth water. Now the prep....

Cranking the ACDC Roger and I went to work. Slicing, dicing, laughing, and working along side in the kitchen. Probably one of my favorite afternoons yesterday. Cooking with the boy was great. no fighting, no bossiness (on my part), no dictating (on his part). Loverly.

Table laden with food (stuffed mushroom caps, potato skins, artichoke dip, pizza 7 layer dip, cheese, crackers, chicken wings, garlic sausage, pickles.....) our friends started to arrive. Of everyone that came there were only four women; two of which wanted to watch the fight and two who gave a rat's arse about it. I was in the rat's arse group. So Tina and I went to the Four Mile Pub and toasted a girls night out, sans children, men and blood and guts (aka UFC fight) and had a great laugh.

Came home to a sleeping baby, empty plates of food on the table and about 7 packs of empty beer bottles...with a smile on my face and a wink to Roger I knew that our "fight night" hosting was a success. Both of us got what we wanted. For me it was spending time with him in the kitchen before, and for him it was finally being able to be social and have some fun with his buds.

The best part of the night was that all our friends were raised right. They all pitched in and cleaned up the house before going home. At 2am. 2am. Who in their right mind stays up until 2am? With kids? Not me, I graced the bedsheets at 12:30. That was late enough for me.

Hmmm, what party can I plan next?

Discovery

2007-08-18T07:35:00.000-07:00

The morning that we left for Parksville one of the bulbs in the bathroom burned out. Not so bad, as we had two others in good working order.

Until we arrived home and HP turned on the light and only one worked. She peed in a bathroom with about as much light as a nightclub washroom, all dim and hazy and I made a mental note to go to Canadian Tire (about a 3.5 second dash from our door) and purchase some new halogen bulbs.

Then I got used to the dim surroundings. Dust bunnies did not seem so scary in this light. Shaving your legs in the shower was done by feel alone (really, who feels up ankles anyhow??), and when your put your makeup on in the morning you look good enough to go dancing....I thought this light was pretty darn flattering. Even before I had a glass of wine and had to squint about 2 inches from the mirror to see my reflection.

Tuned on the light a few days ago and saw the light flicker. Knew that I did not want to wipe my potty training daughter's bumm in the dark, nor did I have any desire to explain to guests why they had to pee in the dark, we journeyed to Canadian Tire. OMFG! Try $20 for four bulbs. I just about had to change my panties. That is highway robbery. I paid the lady, trudged home and put the damn bulbs in.

My discovery? All the while of being in the hazy darkness, a dark hair was growing out of my chin. A coarse, ugly, makes-me-feel-ancient hair. One that I could see plain as day when three working bulbs were screwed into my fixture. For the second time in one day I just about sported a new pair of panties. What does a girl to do? Tweeze the thing out...only to make it grow back coarser and uglier? Leave it alone and hope that it does not poke out eyes during cuddles? Encourage two of it's buddies to grow beside the first only to be able to braid them and pass it off as a new fashion accessory?

Nope. Just unscrew two bulbs and forget you even saw the thing.

Parksville Vacation

2007-08-16T08:44:00.000-07:00

As a super neglectful blogger, I will now catch up all my faithful readers on our family vacation to Parksville. We finally got a chance to get away as a family and "we were going to have fun if it killed us!" We actually succeeded in our goal, a great time was had by all. We beachcombed, built sandcastles, bumper-boated, played mini-golf, shopped at thrift stores, drank wine, watched movies, danced with the girls, played at the park (a lot) and laughed.

Here are the photos to prove it!

Motherhood

2007-08-05T10:41:00.000-07:00

I always knew that motherhood would be more rewarding than anything else that I would accomplish. That it would outshadow any relationship. That it would pay nothing, have moments of doubt, and be wrought with sleepless nights of questioning of the right way.

No one told me it would be hilarious as well.

My daughters are funny. Rib tickling, belly holding, cheek hurting FUNNY. They both say the most hilarious things. Here are some of them.

Quinn crawls into bed with me. Snuggles. I roll over and say good morning. Her reply is that my breath smells like cherries. "I don't like cherries, mom." Fine. Get out then.

Quinn climbs to the top of the slide. The old fashioned kind, metal and steep. The kind that I used to navigate in the 70's. I coax her up. She reaches the top and I thought for sure that she would not want to slide down. I was correct. She stood at the top of the narrow slide, and announced that....."I climbed up here to dance....watch me mom".

Hayley wants to come with me running. So she gets out her bike to ride along side. Her and I are crossing the bridge to run along the water and she asks me what birds eat. I reply, (to the best of my knowledge" that they eat worms, grass, wheat, bread and food from the garbage can. She then asks me if one "poops in my mouth would I have a celiac reaction, as what birds eat is not gluten-free". Like I would care about my intestines when I have bird crap in my teeth.....

Quinn is on her way upstairs and Roger announces that she has to have a bath tonight. Without missing a beat, she says, "I would rather have a bath on Sattaday"

She gets in the tub and comes down stairs to show me how clean she is. I give her a big hug and tell her that her hair smells wonderful - so clean. Again, without missing a beat, she says, "wanna smell my bumm, it is clean too?" Umm, thanks, I will pass...

Hayley thinks she has died and gone to heaven when we can have a treat at her favorite place. Importans. (Tim Hortons)

Quinn thinks that movies are called DVDV's.

They make me laugh. Which is a not such a bad thing.

Us

2007-07-28T19:38:00.001-07:00

Here we are, in the glorious sunshine, enjoying a birthday party at the park. Now you see us!

Thriller (or the thing that made me laugh today)

2007-07-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

Thriller

Summer camp

2007-07-24T07:40:00.000-07:00

Well, the calender says summer, but ol' Mother Nature seems to be telling a different story. Fall. The nights are cool, the days are bleak, and the swimming pool has a disgusting scum floating on the top. I think that I like the extreme heat better. I am tempting fate and just wearing shorts today for the hell of it. That and a sweater.

So HP decides that she has the horse bug. She rode horses at my Aunt and Uncles in Kamloops and since then has been a bit horse-crazy. So I thought I may sign her up for horse camp. Hopefully that was a fleeting thought, one that I did not intend on acting on, as I recieved the email back from the stables, and almost crapped my pants. I thought skating was expensive....well one week of horse camp costs over $500!!!!! A bit rich for my blood. A bit more than rich. I can see it now, HP rolling up to camp in the van, with daycare kiddies spilling out the sides, with her bike helmet (like I could afford a riding hat with that expense), jeans and my "fancy boots" on. That would be all we had in the house. Then coming home from a day of mucking the stables and rubbing elbows with the rich kids for a yummy dinner of beans. Maybe weiners and beans if Roger happened to do some work on someone's computer for some extra money that week.

Needless to say, no horse camp for HP. I think the $60/week camp at the local rec center will suffice. Stringing beads, playing kick the can, lunch at the park to perfect the monkey bars, and some swimming in a good ol' public pool. What could be wrong with that?

Plus then we actually get to eat that week.

Time for me

2007-07-13T07:50:00.000-07:00

Well, I have be coerced. Pleaded with. Talked to repeatedly. Nagged.

I gave in. Just to stop the incessant noise. Just joking Mel. She only had to ask me once. That is how easy of a girl I am. Roll with the punches, peer-pressure, in-depth fear of saying no and disappointing. Yep, that is me.

What did I say yes to you are probably wondering???? To the half marathon in October. To commit to running on a program, with someone three times a week. I have to admit - scared shitless right now.

You see, I used to run. Used to being the oprative word. When HP was one, I turned 30. That is the year that I ran a lot. Training for the Garden City 10K and even managed to do it in under an hour. I even enjoyed the feeling of completing my first road race, losing some of my baby fat in the process.

So I began to run again on Monday. And here it is, Friday morning and already I am embarking on a whole different world again. The running world. I run with my friend Mel, who encourages me, makes me laugh, and never, and I mean never, makes me feel like I cannot do it. Even when it is freaking hot out, I am red and blotchy in the face, panting like a sick dog.

All this, and we have not even left the house yet.

Wish me luck girls, in my training for this.

Meanwhile I will be getting my kicks out of the post run boozy drink in my back yard. It is still the best part of the run as far as I am concerned.

Photos from the trip

2007-07-09T07:17:00.001-07:00

Quinn in awe of the horses. We spent the last night in Kamloops and Quinn would not horseback ride, claiming that was "wery wery dangerous". Hilarious. She did, however, love watching Hayley and Emily ride off into the sunset.

My mom, Hayley and Quinn in the pool while we were in Vernon. Hayley was in the water for about 4 hours. Can you say prune fingers?
Hayley on the horse. We had barely pulled into the driveway of my aunt and uncles and she was already asking to ride.
Had to add this one in. me. little ol'me. Photoshopped in all it's glory. Silver Star valley in the background. Gotta love a camera that takes good photos!
Me and my two favorite people in the whole world.
Me and my cousin Carolynn. She and I are the closest in age, and we had such a great time catching up with one another. We have so much in common; running, kids, scrapbooks, candles, love of good food and wine......I wish we lived closer to one another.

The girls and I had such a great time. Listening to Harry Potter in the car was a god-send. Both girls were awesome, laughing with each other, potty training Quinn, riding the ferry, hiking on SilverStar, swimming in the hottub, visiting cousins, witnessing the BEST wedding of my cousin Pam and her new hubby Steve, tubing on the lake, riding horses, wow. We had fun. So much fun in fact that Hayley opted to go to Quesnel to spend another week with nana and papa.

Daycare started up again on Wednesday - reality hits you smack between the eyes. I just have to close my eyes and think of my holiday and we are all right with the world again.

Make Work for Mom day

2007-06-27T12:47:00.000-07:00

Here is a recap:

7am - rip off sheets from bed and dangle them from rafters of top bunk to make fort

7:30 - rip off clothes from hangers in closet- spewing them everywhere - to make mobile out of said hangers

8am- spray garbage can with Lysol only to find out in mid-spray that I am "pledging" it instead. It will fear all dust bunnies under the sink now.

8:30- on our way out the door to drive to school when small child decides to have a poop. Cannot drive in the van with the stench, so proceed to put in into the dust free rubbish bin instead.

8:50 - arrive home and sugar my coffee twice - drink it anyway, as I think I may not get a chance to eat breakfast and so I will need the sugar later on.

9am- pull all toys out in the living room, only to decide that outside play is more fun.

10am- drink coffee that has been nuked already once, with too much sugar and count the hours until my day is over.

11am - start lunch, which is now a proven fact that takes twice as long to make as it does to inhale/dump on floor/complain about/pick apart.

11:30-sweep hardwood floors for the 1 millionth time this day.

12pm - get one daycare kiddie up from morning nap and proceed to lay another one down before the blankets even cool down.

1pm-blog about my morning.

Thanks for letting me vent. Girls road trip cannot come fast enough.

Saxe Point

2007-06-24T13:37:00.001-07:00

On Friday we all went to Saxe Point for Hay's field trip with her class. It is one of my favorite spots in Victoria, huge rocks to climb, beach access, quiet and peaceful, ocean views and a public, flushable toilet. What more could a transplanted west-coast-island-loving-still-cannot-wear-birkinstocks-and let my leg hair grow-kinda girl ask for?

Almost done grade one.

2007-06-14T14:21:00.001-07:00

I read chapter books.
I can skip on the monkey bars.
I made an assist in lacrosse.
I can ride my hand-brake bike I got for my birthday - no training wheels.
I love to rollerblade.
I love pokeman.
I own 4 webkins.
I am learning to like math.
I took pottery at school.
I finally got to change my earrings.
I am going on vacation, alone, this summer to see Nana and Papa.
I can put my face in the pool now (no small feat for this Pisces).

Growing up, reading to me, getting so tall. I love you Hayley.

New Shoes

2007-06-14T14:16:00.001-07:00

Nothing says summer like Chuck Taylor Converse All Stars. Could not resist these shoes. Bought them for $6 at a consignment store, retail'ing for over $40 new. Does she not look like she loves them? I do, and that is what matters.

Rainy Saturday

2007-06-09T17:44:00.000-07:00

So on a rainy Saturday what should you do? I recommend going to the movie theater with a toddler to see "Shrek the Third". Why wouldn't you? Actually, all kidding aside, Quinners did well. We met Hayley and her dad there ( will wonders ever cease ) and had a ball! Quinn laughed while she sucked on a sucker and drank her slushy drink. I really did have fun. Plus it was raining, so that only means one thing around here on a Saturday......cleaning my house!

I am busy reading two books right now, one of which is capturing more of my attention than the other. One is the 6th book in the Harry Potter series; The Half Blood Prince, while the other is a Oprah Book Club one, We Are the Mulvaneys. Both are good, in their own right, but I have to admit, I am enjoying Harry's adventures much more. Just getting ready for the final installment due to be shipped to my house on it's release date by Amazon.ca.

I cannot believe that HP only has 3 weeks of school, and three weeks until I am in Vernon for my cuz' wedding. Sort of a family reunion on my mom's side as well. Should be a ton of fun, as my cousins and I have a lot in common. Cannot wait for the girly road trip with HP and Quinners as well.

Just an update on my life, seems as though blogging is taking a back seat, but I am still alive and all is well.

Back to square one with potty training as well, seems as though it was a one-off thing. Summer is coming (fingers crossed) and we will naked potty train her then.

Toodles friends.

Potty Power!

2007-06-02T07:09:00.000-07:00

Maybe potty power is ready once again. Strange thing happened today. We were in the backyard and Quinners was in her bathing suit sans diaper. She came up to me and said, "Quinners pee mommy." So I went inside and got the toilet shell and sat her down. She peed.

Strange in many ways: her butt touched the seat of the toilet. She acknowledged what she had to do. She did not want a diaper on. We have not spoken of the potty in weeks. She does whatever the hell she wants, whenever she wants. We are definitely on her schedule and not the other way around.

She even wanted her potty book to read as well.

She blows me away. I cannot for the life of me figure her out. Maybe that is why I love her so much.

My BIG girl can finally do it!

2007-05-27T09:12:00.001-07:00

Hay has been practicing everyday to learn how to go all the way across on the Monkey Bars at her elementary school. This is something of a fetish, one that she cannot let go of. Now that she has mastered it, and boy am I proud, she will move on to the next accomplishment.
Grabbing the rings for a monkey swing across.
Concentration is a must. I was in her bad books when I took this opportunity to tickle those armpits. They were taunting me.
Hanging by one arm. Try doing this at 36 years old. I did, and thought I was going to rip my arm out of it socket, leaving only exposed flesh and a hand left holding the monkey bar. Wow, I also thought I was going to have to make a chiropractor appointment to realign my spine.
Climbing back up to do it all over again.

I am so proud of her. Monkey bars are a right of passage when you are in elementary school. Next on her list is to flip around on the bar landing on her feet. Yah, forgot about being that flexible a longgggg time ago.

i am from....

2007-05-19T14:06:00.000-07:00

A challenge to all. A time to reflect on where we came from, how we became who we are, and what attributed to it all. A time for reflection, prose, putting on [paper] the thoughts that are rambling in your brain..(well at least mine). I look forward to hearing where you are "from"

I am from-

A girl working at Dairy Queen and a boy taking a mechanic apprenticeship. Girl takes pity on the skinny, shy boy and loads up his burger. Shy boy asks girl out. Shy boy stands up girl on their first date. She gives him a second chance. He repays her by showing up to their wedding after punching his brother/best man in the face. Black eye barely shows up in the wedding photos.

Family reunions where you introduce yourself as "Donald's oldest".

Curly blonde locks, held back with ponies so I could ride my tricycle that my dad put blocks on the wheels so I could reach. Later on, banana seat bikes and riding to the Red Bluff Store to get penny candies.

Mr. Hansome and the Sunday School bus that picked me up.

Taking the train by myself. Lawn bowling and playing the organ. Being the BINGO caller. Having my grandma Tish as the one woman that I truly wish I could be more like. I miss her every day and know that she would be proud of how all of us turned out.

Gravel roads and snow falling before Halloween. Summers so long and hot that the grass turned brown. Seemingly eternal sunshine for six months. Dark when you go to school and darkness upon you when you are coming home for the other six months.

Parents who wanted the best, and only the best. Even if I wanted the worst. Growing up in a small town where everyone knew my mom.

Silence when there is a fight. No words. Just working it out in your head, and then one moment later....it is all good.

Eating at 4:30pm - every night.

Long trips across the country when I was an only child. Jobs for my dad in Ontario, Northern BC, central BC. Roadrunner car trips and early 70's style of hair.

Eating jello in Toronto General Hospital.

The Caddy book and lined up shoes in an apartment building.

Good solid stock. Woman who worked on the farm. Raised large families. Drove tractors. Cooked, canned, passed down recipes. Nursed during the war. Provided. Lutheran and Anglican. High pitched voices singing "Amazing Grace". Humbugs in pockets. Bright red/pink Avon Lipstick. Dove soap. The smell of love, acceptance and humility all wrapped up in afghan bedspreads.

Kodak video cameras with too hot flashes. Polaroid cameras with faded images. A mom who is dedicated to scrapbooking a legacy for her children. A dad who's family chose to keep the memories silent.

Eternal love. All the good stuff. Great parents. Providers.

All of which I hope to pass on to my two girls....

Am I NUTS?

2007-05-17T14:48:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I quit my job at Moxies. So I want to stay home with my kids. Budget. Limited income. Daycare home. Toys everywhere. More kids than I have limbs. Alcohol would be an asset. Yep, that is me today. I have 7 kids today. Seven. Like the dwarfs. Yet, I am NO snow white. My prince is at work, and when he gets home he stinks. Apples are not appealing to me, although I would be happy with the wicked witch knocking at my door about now. Then I would trap her into some adult conversation and boy, would she be sorry she stopped here.

Let me break it down. This is what makes it worth my while (besides all the jargon about nourishing young minds, how rewarding it is, yada yada yada).

Forty dollars a day.

Times seven kids.

Divide by eight hours.

Sometimes the little things help me through.

Happy Mother's Day!

2007-05-13T16:50:00.000-07:00

The above photo is what Hayley made me at school, it made me cry. Then just when I thought I had a grip on reality, she presented me with the poem that she made. It goes like this:

M IS FOR MY MOM THAT MAKES ME BANANA BREAD
O IS FROM MY ONE AND ONLY MOM
T IS FOR THE TIMES THAT WE PLAY BARBIES
H IS FOR HELPING HER MAKE COOKIES
E IS FOR EACH DAY WE MAKE LUNCH
R IS FOR READING WITH HER EVERY NIGHT

TOGETHER IT SPELLS MOTHER WHO I LOVE SO MUCH!

Well, here it is - Mother's Day once again. My day here has been wonderful. I got to sleep in until 7:30am to which I woke up with "Happy Mudder's day mommy" spoken to me in sweet 2 year old language. Coffee was made when I came downstairs and my darling hubby had the news on for me (I love the weekend news!). Roger picked up an overtime shift today and so Quinn and I walked him part way to work stopping at the park on the way home for a ride on the slide. Quinn had a ride down as well.

I was blessed to meet my ex-mother-in-law/now- a- great- friend for lunch at Adrienne's Tea Garden at Mattick's Farm, so all us girls (me, Hayley, Quinn and Carole) had a great chin wag and a lovely lunch together. Went to a local organic produce market after (they even sell gluten-free things there!!!) and then dropped Hayley and Carole off for a dinner together and Quinn and I picked Roger up. He had a beautiful day lily for me! So nice and a wonderful surprise too.

Tonight we are having bbq burgers, baby potatoes (picked this morning!) and artichoke dip. A phenomenal way to end a phenomenal day. Makes me thankful to have the honor of being a mom.

Thinking about the barter system...

2007-05-07T22:15:00.000-07:00

So, we have this website here in Victoria called UsedVictoria.com. It is an online garage sale of sorts. Basically you log on, flog your stuff or buy someone else's flogged stuff. I only made one error - I logged on. Bought the girls some fine bunk beds if you ask me. Now, looking to get out of debt, trying to save for a holiday to Vernon in less than two months, and I recently quit my job at Moxies. (where mind you, could have paid for above mentioned bunk beds in two shifts....that is neither here nor there)

Dilemma - I think so. So what does a bargain hunter like me do in a situation like this? Flog off enough of our stuff to make up the difference, yep that is what I did. Sold Hayley's Captain's bed (why would she need it with new bunks...not yet paid for or picked up mind you). Sold off some girls clothes, well it is summer and kids wear less now. Hey, if I would have got any money I would have sold off Roger. At least he is handy, but then who would help me assemble the bunk beds? I could always call the Queen, she is very handy and the I am envious of her knowledge with a power tool or two. Or ten. Me, I just wear the belt that holds the tools.

Bingo. Items sold, money in wallet. Off to get bunks. They are a beaut. From IKE*A, two years old, mattresses included and a steal of a deal. Assembled in a flash (while I did NOT give orders and random advice from the door, I learned my lesson with the crib). I waited downstairs. Patiently. Only tiptoeing up a few times when the swear words got loud.

Kiddies went to sleep in our bed, and will wake up in the new ones. Won't HP be thrilled when she falls out of bed? Plan for Tuesday, let HP wake up enough so that she can negotiate the ladder.

I love things that don't cost money. Someone's junk is our new treasure. I think that we should all go back to the barter system. I seem to remember when my dad had a boat motor - no boat. A side of beef for some work he did on a car. A fence built for a new transmission. I learned from the best. Thanks dad for the lesson - life is not handed to you on a silver platter. Sometimes you have to sell something for it to be served to you.

Just don't sell the platter.

Working with my dad

2007-05-06T07:06:00.000-07:00

Roger is a cook/day manager as his paying job. In his spare time he loves to rebuild computers. At any given time our office is a computer graveyard, with bits of motherboards, ram, screws, wire and a whole host of unknown foreign mechanical stuff. You have to realize that he is very high tech, nothing but the newest, latest and fastest pieces of equipment are good enough to grace our front door. Now me, on the other hand, is low/no tech. I hate having more than one remote, only listen to one radio station (hate tuning in), was happy with the performance of my VCR, and cannot program my watch to time my laps when I run. Low tech.

Yet we are the ying/yang of one another. He can teach the girls how a computer works, all the inner ramblings of a techie. I will use the internet to book us airline tickets to travel the world.

Seems like a fair trade off for an office of screws.

What I want for Mother's Day

2007-05-02T09:42:00.000-07:00

Just to let everyone know, this is what I am sending all my mom friends out there for Mother's Day. Hope I get some in return....

Here's hopin'

Stranger things have happened

2007-05-02T07:10:00.000-07:00

After a super busy week, I am now settling down to another week of daycare. I am trying to find my niche with my time - wanting to accomplish so much throughout the day yet never managing to finish my coffee before it gets lukewarm. I really am enjoying being at home, but sit in wonder and amazement at families with more that three children and how they do it ALL. Busy ladies.

So maybe it is too much to ask to:

-read a book
-catch up on my "now old news" scrapbook magazines
-complete my mother's day cards
-go through my scrap stuff and get organized for my next crop day
-blog
-read favorite blogs
-proof-read a Celiac manuscript for upcoming publication

As well as cuddle, nurture, potty-train, read and entertain all daycare kiddies? Am I turning into Martha Stew*art?

bits and bites

2007-04-29T18:07:00.000-07:00

So Hayley played her first lacrosse game on Friday night! She did very well, considering how it was at 6pm, raining, and she was a bundle of nerves. It was so funny, everyone on the team running amok, sticks in the air, half the time not paying attention, all the while the parents were yelling, cheering and laughing. So entertaining! She did enjoy herself though, and when today rolled around and we had to drive to Fuller Lake to play (an hour over the malahat highway) she was as keen as ever. Would you know it though - raining on Friday, playing outside. Beautiful and sunny today - playing inside. Laugh it up people.

Been busy setting up my new blog as well. It is dedicated to all things pertaining to Celiac disease, and so no longer will my 7 non-celiac readers be bored silly reading about it here. If you still want to check it out, look here.

Peace out until next update.

Photos from Quebec

2007-04-28T11:05:00.000-07:00

Likely photo, no one looks good but ME! Hahahahaha
Gilles and Lise.
Lise, Gilles and Manon. (they had NEVER seen the ocean before!)
Gilles and Manon.

These were sent to me from Quebec, these are the crazy aunties that met for the first time two Sundays ago in Sooke. They are wonderful, French women, who I hope to meet again!

New BLOG!

2007-04-26T11:20:00.000-07:00

I am in the works of creating a new blog. Check it out!

www.glutenfreeladybug.com

Just to pass on....

2007-04-24T21:25:00.000-07:00

My baby sister, Steph, and me. Steph is currently waiting on her results to come back on her biopsy to determine Celiac or not. My thoughts are with her. Photo taken on April 15th.

What is Celiac Disease?

Celiac Disease is an autoimmune disease that damages the small intestine and interferes with absorption of nutrients from food. People who have Celiac Disease cannot tolerate a protein called gluten that is found in wheat, rye, and barley. Research has shown that timely diagnosis of Celiac Disease is essential to treating or preventing its complications

10 Facts about Celiac Disease

1. Celiac disease is common: affecting an average of 1/133 Americans and up to 1/22 for those associated with risk factors.

2. The average duration of symptoms for celiac patients before they are correctly diagnosed is 9 years.

3. Celiac disease is twice as common as Crohn’s, ulcerative colitis and cystic fibrosis combined.

4. Approximately 50% of adult patients present with atypical symptoms.

5. Celiac disease is often misdiagnosed as irritable bowel syndrome or lactose intolerance and up to 1/3rd of celiac disease patients have been previously diagnosed with IBS.

6. Celiac disease meets the criteria for the World Health Organization for justifying general screening.

7. Physicians may use more widely known but less accurate serological testing that can result in missed diagnosis.

8. Up to 21% of intestinal biopsies, necessary for confirmation of celiac disease, are rejected by insurance companies, claiming that the cost of the testing isn’t justified by the symptoms.

9. Celiac disease has a 95 percent genetic predisposition.

10. Celiac disease is associated with or can lead to a number of other disorders including infertility, premature births, reduced bone density (both osteopenia and osteoporosis), neurological disorders, malignancies such as adenocarcinoma, non-Hodgkins lymphoma, and others, and a host of autoimmune disorders such as insulin dependent diabetes, thyroid disease, Sjogren’s syndrome, Addison’s disease, Psoriasis, autoimmune liver disease, and cardiomyopathy.

Taken from my new blog friend, Lea's Glutenfree's site. Thought I would pass it on.

Deep Thoughts

2007-04-22T09:04:00.000-07:00

I wonder...if you don't say something out loud, does it make it less true?

Just in case it is not true, I will only type it out instead.

Something I am eating, unbeknownst to me, is making me sick. I am struggling with my weight again. Yesterday I tried on a pair of pants - in a size 2 - and got them over my hips and done up. Would have never bought them, way too tight. The fact remains that not so long ago, you would have had to put a one in front of that two to make them fit. Now, I cannot put the weight on.

Now, let me explain. I eat. I eat a lot. Sometimes a huge portion that even surprises Roger. The biggest downfall/symptom/end result of being a Celiac is that I do not retain my nutrients and essential vitamins when there is gluten present. It robs me of everything that I consume. It is, literally, like taking my yummy concoctions and flushing them.

I am very careful. I have my own cupboard full of my own food. I have certain things that I know are safe. I don't eat out. Yet, somewhere along the line I am failing my body.

Some woman would trade spots in an instant to be thin. It scares me that the scale now reads 117lbs. Add almost 100 pounds to that, and that, my friends is the weight that I was on the day that my oldest daughter was born. Scary thought.

Things I am happy about

2007-04-22T00:26:00.000-07:00

*spent a great day downtown, even saw Chubakah (Star Wars - just sound it out)
*having friends for a bbq on Sunday
*garage sale mania on Saturday morning, got some great deals - and loads of books
*last night of work at moxies. I officially quit today. So ecstatic you cannot imagine.

Petting Zoo day

2007-04-20T17:15:00.000-07:00

Beacon Hill Park boasts its very own petting zoo. There are baby goats, pot bellied pigs, miniature horses, donkeys, sheep, chickens, roosters, bunnies, guinea pigs, finches, and a wild assortment of other four and two legged friends. On Friday it was a Pro-D day here and so I thought we would go and check it out. We had a ton of fun, walked a bit around the Park, fed the ducks, saw a turtle, climbed a tree and basically enjoyed ourselves.

Above is a photo of Quinners and the arse end of a goat. Notice the attire, she is into the "hippy look" right now - so very West Coast and Island living - with pants and a skirt on. Love the accessories of the blanket and rubber boots.
Hayley grooming a goat.
A peacock strutting his stuff to all the peahens. It was hilarious to see him prancing around trying to get all the girls' attention, all the while not one was even looking at him. Typical in humans as well, if you don't believe me, go to any given nightclub here.
A turtle that has been a fixture of the park for many a year. I believe that he once started his life as someone's pet and was released into the water. He lives a happy life amongst the ducks and lily pads.

Pics of the garden

2007-04-20T16:56:00.000-07:00

The view from the bottom of the stairs. Taken at 8pm at night.
My beautiful shrub. Hey, you didn't expect me to know the names of the pretty things things that I chose from the nursery? The man that helped me out (of $100) was a very knowledgeable man, who knew the names of all the items that were purchased....in both English and Latin. He had me at hello.
This I do know, it is a Japonica (although probably spelled wrong). It was my fave. Still is.
Roger and I hard at work.

The view from the stairs. It is very pretty, even if I am tooting my own horn. Toot toot.

Most definetely the busiest weekend I have had!

2007-04-17T21:02:00.000-07:00

FRIDAY
-Mom and sister arrived on Friday morning. Hugs and cuddles a plenty as this was the first time that I met my new niece, Cadance, and fell immediately head over heals in love with her. She is JUST perfect, and my sister is the BEST mom.
-chat and catch up
-eat dinner
-find out where everyone will sleep
-cannot wait until Saturday!

SATURDAY
-Loaded 1/2 ton of pea gravel in my mom's truck on Saturday morning for my Asian garden
-Unloaded above mentioned pea gravel with Roger
-Roger took bus to town to meet his two aunties who were also here from Quebec to see Gilles
-went to the nursery and got plants and pots for garden, while mom and sister were walking in the sunshine with all the girls (probably taking a ton of photos)
-unloaded truck with plants
-took Steph to the consignment store
-went to work for 8 hours at Moxies, while "Charlotte's Web" was viewed and popcorn was eaten

SUNDAY:
-kidnapped mom and went to Mattick's farm
-marked out other side of front yard with landscape ties
-shoveled free top soil into truck with Roger
-unloaded above mentioned soil onto front yard
-showered
-had a glass of wine
-drove to Sooke for a family dinner with all the French aunties, Gilles, Chantal, mom and sis, all of us, and cousins
-drove home from Sooke

MONDAY:
-daycare kiddies arrived at 8am
-a pot of coffee and a loaf of bread later, we have all eaten
-daycare kiddies continue to arrive ALL morning (eek, what was I thinking...)
-mom and Steph go to scrapbook store
-I go to elementary school, preschool and the grocery store
-feed everyone (daycare wise) lunch and lay most down for naps
-Roger comes home at 2pm
-I leave at 2:05pm to go and load the truck with pea gravel for other side
-unload the crap once again
-daycare kids running amok outside and get picked up one by one
-have a glass of wine
-and another
-and maybe just one more
-bath all kids, all the while taking mass photos
-have one last night with mom and Steph and Cadance

TUESDAY:
-daycare kids arrive at 8am
-sister sleeping in living room, wakes up on her own at 7:30 so she can have a cup of coffee with me before the kids all wake up and arrive
-keep HP home from school so that she can have one last visit and cuddle with her nana
-entice Quinners to do the same
-help load truck for mom and sis' trip to ferries
-all the while stifling a tear
-all wave bye-bye, knowing in my heart that I want ONE MORE DAY WITH MY MOM
-know that things are left unsaid
-drive to preschool
-drive to elementary school
-do about 5 loads of laundry and stifle a tear
-feel as though the house is TOO quiet, even though there are still 3 daycare kiddies here
-think that I am fine, then TH (daycare boy), says, 'I miss nana darling"
-cry
-busy myself all day by transplanting plants into pots that I bought on Saturday
-cook dinner
-drive to Lacrosse
-upload 350 photos
-blog

Photos to come. I am off to bed, to take off my superwoman cape and have a chamomile tea and a cry. I miss my mom.

In honor of Lynn - freetoeat

2007-04-13T13:53:00.000-07:00

The easiest and tastiest GF pizza dough recipe.

WARNING: not modified for your other allergies, Lynn, sorry!

1/4 cup milk
2 large eggs
1/3 cup cornstarch
2/3 cup rice flour
1/4 tsp xanthan gum
1 tsp salt
1/4 cup melted butter

Beat eggs and milk together. Add the other ingredients, minus the butter. Mix well, THEN add butter.
Spread on greased pizza pan (biggie) that has been sprinkled with cornmeal. Leave a thicker crust on edges.
Spread on your sauce, toppings and *cheese*. Often I eat this with pesto, chicken, peppers and goat cheese. YUM. So west coast though.
Bake in 350 oven for 20-25 minutes. Under broiler for last 5.

Piece (of pizza) out to you too Lynn.

Thngs that make me happy

2007-04-13T09:11:00.000-07:00

From my friend, llkw, I am discovering what makes me happy.

*SURPRISE - my mom, sister and new niece, Cadance, will be arriving today
*HP reads to me now
*Quinners, when she says, My do-it mommy
*my front yard, which is finally taking shape and looking like it has potential
*capri weather again
*my well-behaved day care kiddies today
*silence at 9pm when EVERYONE is sleeping
*my new pillows

Thank you Lemon_Parade for enlightening me with what makes YOU happy. For the record, discount the hormonal thing, you are right on target with your list!

NEW CAMERA DAY

2007-04-11T21:02:00.000-07:00

Yahoo! I bought myself a new camera today. Visited it many a day at the store, but finally caved and did it. I believe, in all honesty, that my photography skills far exceed my Kodak Easy Share that I previously used to capture all great moments on digital.

So I bought this....although I did manage to get a WAY better deal than the cost that you see. As some of you know, I never buy brand new, never pay retail, and never, never, never settle on the price that is shown on the ticket. I am also not a very good customer to have. After managing to cut $150 off the cost as the battery had been charged up ONCE, I also managed to get free extended warranty for three years, as well as a fairly ugly camera bag. That salesman was glad to see me go - considering how he never made a lick off me for commission. Not to mention that and the fact that I visited this camera every day and just "thought about it". It went on the credit card, but oh well. I guess you only live once. If I only get one ride on the ferris wheel of life then I better be taking some damn good photos to scrapbook my legacy......